A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm having trouble having sex with my girlfriend. As i seem to be suffering from erectile dysfunction. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. We have only been able to have missionary sex, with me on top. However i don't feel like she is satisfied enough. I feel under immense pressure to perform. She is my first partner and I've only been having sex for a month. I don't find her supportive as she has told me that she gets frustrated and once said i was 'bloody useless' whilst in bed together. It's just so frustrating for me and is taken over my every thought. What can I do about my problem? [I'm 21 btw] Thanks :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advice, really appreciate it. I agree that its down to stress. Anejaculation seems like an accurate description of what I'm going through. I'll go and see my doctor and suggest this. Thanks :)
A
female
reader, Kimaxsi  +, writes (9 May 2008):
Sounds like. What do you think?
Situational anejaculation - in this condition the man is able to ejaculate in some situations but not in others. It is caused by stress.
"Anejaculation, as its name implies, is a condition characterized by the absence of ejaculation. The causes can be psychological and physical. Psychological anejaculation is usually anorgasmic i.e. unaccompanied by orgasm. This again, can be situational or total. Situational anejaculation means that a man can ejaculate in some situations but not in others. For instance, a man may be able to ejaculate and attain orgasm with one partner but not with another. This usually occurs when there is a psychological conflict or a relationship difficulty with one partner. Or he may be able to ejaculate quite normally during masturbation but not during intercourse. It can also occur in stressful situations, as when a man is asked to collect a sample of semen in the laboratory for infertility treatment. In total anejaculation, the man is never able to ejaculate when awake. Deep-rooted psychological conflicts are usually the cause. Such men, however, usually have normal nocturnal (night) sleep emissions.
Physical (organic) anejaculation, which includes retrograde ejaculation (vide supra), can occur due to neurogenic and obstructive causes. Many of the neurogenic causes are similar to those outlined earlier. It must be reiterated that diabetes is an important cause.
Treatment
Treatment depends on the cause and includes psychosexual counseling, drugs such as ephedrine and imipramine, vibrator therapy and electroejaculation. The last is a procedure in which an electrical current is applied to the ejaculatory organs to stimulate ejaculation. Success rates are nearly 100 %. Obstructions to the ejaculatory pathway will, of course, need surgery."
I don't think in your case its a physical problem, I do think its stress. Still go into your doctor.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advice, I think it is due to anxiety. However I'm also having a problem where by I can't ejaculate through any contact by her, even when we are having intercourse, which means the only way i can ejaculate is through self masturbation. This is also causing a lot of problems, as she thinks my ability to ejaculate, through her contact, is her fault. I'm hoping its just all down to anxiety and that it will go away, but will go to see a doctor asap just in case its a physical fault.
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A
female
reader, Kimaxsi +, writes (9 May 2008):
Performance anxiety really can cause the problem I think its one of the biggest reasons for erectile problems. Since you can get up alone your gear is probably more the equipped to do its job, the doctor may have advice for you on handling the anxiety part though. You just need to relax and go easy on yourself, that means talking to your girlfriend openly about everything and spending time intimately when it does not have to lead to sex. Maybe masturbating one another would be less stressful than intercourse? Oral sex? This is a totally fixable thing, I mean really all you have to do is breath XD
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answer :). I agree that maybe i'm suffering from performance anxiety, however would this really affect my ability to have an erection around her? When im by myself i have no trouble with erections. I'm on no medication either. I'm going to book an appointment with the doctor and see if theres anything physically wrong with me.
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A
female
reader, Kimaxsi +, writes (9 May 2008):
There are other ways to please a woman without just intercourse. Obviously you can use sex toys, fingering and manual stimulation techniques, oral sex is great too. Get kinky and creative. My husband are always reading about ways to please each other in bed, new positions, new fingering techniques, blow job techniques. We also communicate tell each other what we like and don't like, so get talking. And do tell her that you find her comments hurtful don't let her trash your self-esteem.
As for the erectile dysfunction it could be stress and performance anxiety (sounds like your lady puts some pressure one you) but I would still go to the doctor and have it checked out. Do you happen to take any medications? When alone do you have trouble with erections? Do they only occur when the two of your being intimate?
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