A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My fiance and I have been in an relationship for a little over 5 years, and we have been trying to have a baby for a year now and nothing happened. He keeps asking me if I'm pregnant and why I'm not pregnant yet. I'm scared it might be me because he already has a 6 year old. And I never been pregnant before. He also smokes so that may have something to do with it, however everyone else around us smokes more and all of them have kid's or one on the way. I'm getting fustrated and is ready to give up. What can we do to get pregnant. Also I'm 23 and he's 28 so age doesn't have anything to do with it.
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male
reader, koenig  +, writes (3 June 2009):
The previous poster was right. Go and talk to your gynaecologist.
Try to convince your husband to stop smoking. It doesn't matter that people around you are conceiving, because you're not. It's probably not the smoking on its own. But the smoking is decreasing your chances. Maybe either or both of you are naturally less fertile, whatever it is, the smoking isn't helping matters. Smoking reduces sperm count and sperm lifespan, reducing your chances of conception. Plus, it'll be good for your partner, reducing his risk of serious health problems and increasing his life expectancy.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 June 2009):
 Your first stop is to see your gyn and make sure all's well with you. If your fiance asks again after this why you're not pregnant, tell him you checked out fine, it's now his turn to visit the doctor. I think kings in olden days had the royal perogative to blame it on the wife (remember Henry VIII?) but generally these days, we have better medical care than they did. What if you have a hidden infection? One that if left untreated would cause permanent infertility?
You can spend ages on the internet finding folk remedies for conceiving, but think about how silly you would feel if it turned out to be something simple and obvious to a gyn, who could then fix it for you. (Hey, it happened to a friend of mine.) I think the sensible thing is to get seen by a doctor. If you don't have one, go to plannedparenthood.org and use the zip code search tool to find one nearby.
Good luck with starting your family!
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