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I'm getting married but can't forget about my fling!

Tagged as: Cheating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 June 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 23 July 2012)
A female India age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I had a fling with a collegue of mine 2 years back..This guy had a long distance girlfriend..I myself am in a relationship with another guy since 4 yrs. Since both of us were in long distance relships we hit it off instantly and started spending a lot of time together and the guy also made it quite evident right from day one that he was attracted to me..He started holding my hand and said things like he likes me and that its hard to control his urges when he's around me..Even I started getting attracted to him and after hardly a month we ended up making out..we made out quite a few times until his girlfriend came to a city closer to where we stayed.I could feel the difference in him within days of her coming..He started ignoring my calls,was rude to me, was avoiding me at work.I got emotionally attached to him and was also planning to leave my own boyfriend for him.This guy said he never wanted a relship with me and I was never his girlfriend. I went into depression and could not concentrate on my work as he was seen daily at work.I had to let go of tht job as I am getting married to my boyfriend in few days and I wanted to forget this guy before my wedding .Now its been more than 2 months I've seen him but I still cannot stop thinking about him..I call him once in a while but he always hangs up saying he's busy...I got to know that he got engaged to his long time girlfriend recently...I am getting married in a month, I love my boyfriend but can't stop thinking about this guy...I am very confused..Why am I not able to forget a guy who has always been rude to me and used me? why did he sleep with me when he never had any feelings for me?please help..I am scared I'll ruin my current relship due of this :(

View related questions: at work, engaged, long distance, wedding

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2012):

Why are yougetting married when you have not been honest and loyal to your fiance....Please dont set yourself up for a disaster and pain which could involve a lot more people ie kids and relatives...If you can put the marriage on hold and take a step back. Don't be selfish be fair to your fiance...

perharps you are not ready for marriage just yet.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (1 July 2012):

aunt honesty agony auntYes it is hard to deal with when somebody uses you, it does not feel nice at all. I guess it back fired on you as you should never have gotten involved with him when you where with your boyfriend.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for the help.I really love my bf.May be its just the thought that somebody used me makes me so sad.Yes I am trying to keep myself busy to come out of this mess soon!!

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (30 June 2012):

aunt honesty agony auntHe used you for sex while his girlfriend was away, simple as that. I guess you have learned your lesson now as to why you should never cheat on someone, or get with someone who is in a relationship. I feel sorry for your boyfriend as you where cheating on him. If you have feelings for this other man then why are you getting married? This really is not fair on your current partner. If you do love your partner and you are sure you want to marry him then you need to delete this other mans number, stop trying to contact him and get on with your own life.

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