A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been best friends with my friend for around 10 years. About 5 years ago she fell in love and soon they are getting married, I'm very pleased for them. Her husband to be has an old famly friend (girl) who has become very close to my best mate. Although we have planned for years that I would one day be her bridesmaid when she finally got engaged she told me that this girls 2 small children would be her only bridesmaids.I'm hurt but sort of understood that she wanted the 'cute' factor at her wedding. However as the wedding has drawn closer im feeling more and more resentful and excluded. Her mum planned her entire hen do and I'm not needed on the morning of the wedding because this new girl will be there with her daughters. She's highly organised so every time I offer to help she says everything's taken care of.Not being part of such an important occasion has really upset me and I'm inclined to really cool our friendship over it. Should I speak to her about how this has made me feel (i cant do this before the wedding now)? I truly dont think im that important to her or she would have made sure i was a part of her big day. Or am I overreacting and should just swallow my pride and stay friends? Is there a way of making her realise how im feeling without actually telling her and looking like a spoilt child?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (17 February 2012):
 Did you talk to her about the 2 small girls being her bridesmaid when it was supposed to be you like she planned?
The only reason I would think she did that as it's a growing trend to have junior bridesmaids.
After 10 yrs, you'd really cool your friendship over not being a part of her wedding?? Best friends can survive any spat, situation. You two don't sound like that good of friends.
It's a bit too late to say anything about it now, as close it gets to the wedding there's no room for adjustments. Not to mention it is her day, so what she says goes.
There's really no way to go about it without looking like you're throwing a tantrum, so I would go on with the wedding without saying anything..then afterwards talk to her about how you felt a bit left out of the big day.
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