A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I was dating a man exclusively for almost 2 years. Early in our relationship he sent me an email breaking up for me and said he was going back to his ex girlfriend. Two weeks later I get another email asking me to give him a second chance. He claimed nothing happened, and said he was afraid to contact me sooner. So we date again, seeing each other almost every night. In all this time he never mentioned any kind of future. I would pack an overnight bag and go to his house or he would come to mine. I finally asked him what he wanted as far as a future together. He said he has a lot of years yet to raise his son who is a teenager and he has part of the time and couldn't really do anything. Although he previously lived with his ex girlfriend. He also would pull away from me and not tell me what was bothering him. He did this about a month ago and I broke up with him, saying I need more from a relationship. Days later he is out on a dating website. I feel heartbroken and completely used by this man, who apparently didn't care for me. Just looking for comfort, and advise to make myself feel better. Thanks.
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (26 April 2012):
 Hmmm you got played hunny!! Men like this are really clever and put just the right amount of pressure on to keep a woman hooked but never quite make the commitment phase...it's called having your cake and eating it. Trouble is you fall for these men because you think they are genuine. You scrutinise them for the tiniest bit of good and then proceed to build a plan on it...next thing you know...he's out the door and you are left dazed and confused.
Take comfort in knowing you arn't the first and won't be the last...it happens to the best of us lovely gals and the best way to get over it is to move on quickly and don't blame yourself.
Life can change in the blink of an eye and the guy you thought you'd die for can end up being a total jerk.
Don't waste another tear, join a dating site yourself and get back out there.
Life is way too short for waiting on a waster!!!
Good Luck and cuddles xxxxxxx
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (26 April 2012):
 I can only say that even though you hoped for more from this man, he evidently was never willing to form a real, committed relationship with you.
Yes, when that happens, it is very disappointing and hurts.
It's worth keeping in mind that there ARE good men out there who would value and respect you for who you are and would want a real relationship with you.
In the meantime, maybe give yourself some time to heal and refrain from seeing anyone for a few months.
Focus now on the activities and interests you enjoy and which are meaningful to you. Maybe link up with friends you mightn't have seen in a while, or sign up for some volunteer work, if that appeals to you. Overhaul your wardrobe; get a manicure, or massage.
Take time to pray or meditate. Hit the gymn. Go on a retreat for a few days, maybe with other people. Throw yourself into putting in a sterling performance at your job.
YOU are your own best friend - so remember that!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2012): First time when he did break up with you, you shouldn’t come back to him. Now it’s over and you are lucky that you didn’t waste even more time with him. He even doesn’t have the value that you bother yourself by thinking about what happened. Be happy and move on I know it is not easy but you can take it easy and look at it as an experience ...Good luck
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