A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 18 almost 19 and I'm signing up for the Army, I believe there is a great career in the Army and I think it will be rewarding to do, helping people all over the world. But my girlfriend is very worried and at one point she cried. I really want to do this, I don't want to not do it then 5 years later regret it and wish I had done it. How can I calm her down? Is this a dick move? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): I disagree with what's said so far. You're very young, women will come and go but one thing that you must never lose sight of is your beliefs and values and that is what makes us who we are and the world a better place. Never compromise it for anything.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): No wonder shes worried! I had this scare from my ex boyfriend when he said he was in the Army (turns out that was a lie to impress me lol) and he said he was going to Afghanistan. Even though it wasnt true I got upset and scared.
However it still is something he actually wants to do and even though Im worried for him I accepted that it was something he wanted to do in life.
i suggest either leaving to live your dream or staying with your girlfriend. I suggest only staying however if you do love her and feel as though its a relationship that will eventually lead somewhere to marriage. Remember that this is your dream job but think how serious your relationship is at this point. If it is not too serious or you dont see it leading anywhere I think you should go.
Its up to you though
x
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A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (13 June 2009):
 She clearly loves you, but you know that. You know you need to follow your heart and I know you will. Once she knows that you are doing this because it is important to you then she will eventually accept your decision. She will always be worried but in time she will learn to deal with it a lot better. I'll ask the Universe to always keep you safe.
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (13 June 2009):
 If my boyfriend did this I would leave him! This is a dick move! X
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): Im a female and was going to be a medic in the army. I also had a boyfriend whom was going to join the army as a solider.
My boyfriend joined the army before I did as he was older than me.
As a result we broke up.
Not because I was worried or anything as it was also my dream. But when one half of your relationship is in the army and training its almost impossible to maintain a relationship.
You have very little almost no contact with the outside world for the first 6-12months.
After I realised this I didn't join the army however, as I found a new boyfriend and fell in love with photography.
I can only suggest this.
Join the army because you will regret not joining, unless you have a second career choice.. Otherwise what will you do with your life?
Help show your girlfriend that there is sooooo many people who do not die in the army.
But also remember if u join the army you will very possibly have to leave your girlfriend anyway, so there may be no need to explain yourself.
Once you've been in the army for a while you never know you may get back with her, if not there's plenty more ladies out there...
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A
male
reader, Skellington  +, writes (13 June 2009):
 You can either go to the Army and possibly die in battle.
or...
You can stay, and keep her happy and calm and keep her from worrying about you by staying at her side.
Your choice, dude.
Personally, I'd stay. Love is more rewarding than anything else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): It's perfectly reasonable for her to be worried. Women have always been worried for the men they loved when the men faced the prospect of going off to war.
You've thought it through, you know the risks -- we've all seen video of the ramp ceremonies in Kandahar. If you still want to serve, then God bless you. She'll have to decide if she can live with it or not. But it sounds like you'll regret it for the rest of your life if you don't listen to your heart now.
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