A
female
age
36-40,
*ohlrebble
writes:So I'm active on an adult website and enjoy the privacy of participating on the site without the pressure of meeting someone.I chatted with a New Guy on and off for about 3 weeks and decided to meet him the other day. We immediately hit it off. I flirted heavily with him and even teased him a bit although I made it known I was seeing someone and would not jump right into bed with him. I wanted to wait. He said he would gladly wait.I've been honest with him from the beginning about my relationship with my ex. I live with my ex but we're non sexual.New Guy is 31, knows he's hot but isn't cocky, well-endowed, and is a successful lawyer who travels frequently. I admit all of this is quite intimidating but I find it sexy. He told me he always felt like he loved the bachelor life but somehow found himself in an long term relationship for 4 years, and has been out of it for a year now.The first time we met, we connected on so many levels. I believe New Guy is really into me by what he says and does but I feel by me playing hard to get, it buys me time to gauge what he's thinking. He leaves me instant messages but I don't answer all the time. I haven't given him my phone number either. When we're together I give him my undivided attention. When we're apart, I ignore him.The problem I'm having is he's been on the adult site for about 6 years. Additionally, I did some research on his screen name and he really loves women and especially couple play with other men's wives. In the middle of and toward the end of his long term relationship, he was still posting on the adult site.He's asked about my future and where I see myself in 2 years and he's mentioned settling but not marriage and not in our current city. Not knowing him, do you feel as if he's making a genuine inquiry? I'm not trying to tame him, I just don't want to end up another notch in his belt.We make out all the time but he doesn't pressure me for sex. He may be doing it with other people, but I don't know, nor care. Do you think he's considering dating me exclusively? Should I continue to play hard to get, should I be honest with him about the things I know about him and expect, or should I just let it go and enjoy someone I'm compatible with?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2009): You sould kind of like a high school girl with a crush.
"I think he might be a player. But this guy isn't like the other players I know. This guy is so HOT!"
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 November 2009):
I want you to think about this very carefully. He has been on this site for 6 years, has travalled a lot, was on that site DURING his so called long term relationship of four years, and has said he has no interest in commitment. Just think about that. What do you now know? You know that he has probably cheated on his girlfriend with women on this site, you know he has been with a lot of other women on this site and hasn't committed, and you know that he is still on this site while he is talking to you. There are a lot of red flags here, if you're looking for more than just sex. He is a plyer through and through. I'm sure he will wait for you, since he probably has someone else ready. Now you need to decide what you want from him, because you will not get anything more than sex. I would say that you have been warned by him that he isn't interested in settling at all. Now ask yourself what you want.
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