A
female
age
26-29,
*aLaLoo123
writes:My boyfriend cheated on me and then I dumped him because he was calling me controlling when It was him who was too possessive over me and then he tells me he still loves me so i took him back and i started fighting with his sister and he didnt believe she would say horrible stuff to me so he was calling me a liar so we broke up and 3 days later my bestfriend went out with him and i no longer speak to him and I only briefly chat to her when i see her from time to time and they broke up because he was being controlling of her and other reasons and now hes tried adding me on social networks again and i dont want anything to do with him anymore because i dont want to be used by him....what do you think? thankyou for your time xx
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broke up, cheated on me, liar Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (25 January 2011):
Hi. It sounds like you are doing the right thing.
To be in a relationship where the other person is controlling (him), it would make you very unhappy and like you were continually stepping on eggshells.
In that case, you probably are better off without him.
Take care.
A
female
reader, LaLaLoo123 +, writes (24 January 2011):
LaLaLoo123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI wasnt doing those things it was him who was over crowding me....it got to the point that he would get jelous of me looking at other boys! i wanted to go to a concert and he was like see you love them and u would rather see them than me and i was like oh my god! and he always contorols what i did like he wouldnt let me see my friends because i wont be seeing him and i am glad its over because i cant be dealing with him
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (18 January 2011):
Hi there. What did you do that he considers to be controlling?
Perhaps you wanted more from him than he was ready to give. By that, I mean you might have wanted to get more serious but he wasn't ready for that at the time.
In relationships sometimes, there is a tendency for women to give up their life and friends to be only with the new man in their lives. In doing this, they make their man their whole life - to the exclusion of all else.
When you do this, you are making him responsible for making you happy. That's not up to him. We are each responsible for making ourselves happy, no-one else can do that.
Whenever he did something that you considered to not be in the best interests of your relationship, you would have felt disappointed and so tried to get more from him, by expecting him to be with you more than he was. This placed a lot of pressure on him.
You don't need to be together every day and every night. That becomes suffocating and eventually destroys a relationship.
You both need some time apart, to be with your own friends and to pursue hobbies and interests. That makes your lives more interesting and gives you more to talk about the next time you see each other. It breathes fresh air into your relationship. More togetherness does not mean a better relationship. It can often mean the opposite - it can drive a wedge between you.
Whenever you are in a relationship, just be yourself and stay calm and relaxed and enjoy each other's company and don't forget to have fun. Feel good about who you are.
There's plenty of time for "Happily Ever After". You have the rest of your life to do that! There is absolutely no need to hurry into it. Life is too short.
Take care and best wishes.
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