A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a boyfriend and we've been living together for the past 7 years. i love him, and am very used to have him in my life, but i'm beginning to lose the urge to want to get intimate with him. we're very busy with our work...sometimes we don't even get to talk to each other everyday.few months ago, i met a young lady on the internet. she's very attractive, accomplished and really feminine. we started out as friends... and as time passes we began talk to each other everyday and i found out that she's gay. she's open and confident, and i feel comfortable with her. the thing is, for the past few months she's been really really sweet to me.. and i'm beginning to grow very fond of her, when i've never been attracted to woman before (i still label myself as "straight"). i find myself thinking about her a lot. and recently she has confessed to me that she likes me very much, which makes me like her even more! by the way, she knows that i like her too.my worry is, we live so far apart, and i've a boyfriend. i know it's almost impossible to be with her, but i also know that deep in my heart i love her.. and i think of her everyday. she makes my dull days so much better.. not that my boyfriend is a boring person. but when i'm out having fun with my boyfriend, my mind is still occupied by her.. and those sweet things she has done and said to me..etc. i do have fantasy about her (kissing and caressing) and sometimes it makes me smile without realizing. actually i don't wanna stop loving her! she makes me happybut what is the right thing i should do? forget her? or continue this internet relationship? will i be considered as cheating?
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male
reader, AFnATL  +, writes (27 April 2008):
You didn't ask this question, but I'll answer it nonetheless. You should first try to fix your relationship with your boyfriend. You are falling out of intimacy because you don't have/make the time to be intimate. Relationships take time and effort. And the longer you are in one, the more true this can be. You are likely attracted to this other person because she is meeting the emotional needs that are not met in your current relationship. For the sake of your future happiness (in any relationship) you need to try to fix this one first before moving on.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (26 April 2008):
 Emotional affairs are cheating. People often have a desire for what they know they can't have. From cars to homes to people, it happens all the time. Many women fantasize about being with a woman. That's normal. Remember that intimacy is a creation. It happens because of what people do and it's lost because of what people don't do. If you want intimacy with your boyfriend, you two have to create it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): It isn't weird to be attracted to another woman. I think all women find themselves attracted to someone of the same sex at at least one point in their life.As for your bf, he might find this situation to be uncomfortable. It is also not a good idea to have a relationship over the net. A relationship needs to have person-to-person communication. Maybe you should try to meet her and see if she is the person you think she is. Then you are left with the choice, who do you love more strongly?
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