A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, I'm looking for a male perspective really, but women feel free to answer too.I'm 21 and out clubbing every weekend, my eldest brother too does exactly the same and we regularly end the night together. He always brings his best mate out with him, which i met about a month ago. The first time we were introduced, we just locked eyes and couldnt stop smiling. He said 'No way are you his sister? You're gorgeous!' Anyways, ever since..every weekend we're really close, we kiss, we dance and then we go our seperate ways at the end of the night. We dont text a lot in the week, just on the weekends saying are we going out? what time? etc. However on saturday night, when the club had closed, we didnt wanna go home, so we continued the night at my brothers house! Me and his friend slept in the same bed, we constantly kissed and cuddled all night. In the morning he made me breakfast in bed, tea and dinner (as we stayed there nursing our hangovers all day) we stayed in bed all day and just generally cuddled, slept and kissed. No sex, nothing. Which is quite suprising coz when i go home with someone, that usually happens. I went home that evening and he text saying 'Text me in the week and come over my house and see me'.Now firstly, I'm still baffled as to why we didnt have sex. Whether he was being respectful to my brother or me? And secondly, I cant stop thinking about him. should i text him Or let him make the effort? I don't wanna be too keen, yet i don't want to look uninterested.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): This other girl really may be persisting to stick on him like glue, which doesn't necessarily mean he wants her back or wants to reciprocate on her actions.
I have a good feeling about him wanting only you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): This guy I feel is torn between two women which represents emotional instability and thus could be bad to start any relationship. You deserve a guy who knows what he wants and altho he may say he wants u, his actions speak otherwise. If this guy were to be with you, I feel you wouldnt get a fresh mental start from him as he has some possible issues to work out. Every woman deserves a new look of a man after a ended relationship so that the relationship can get a new beginning and no issues from previous relationships are carried in. This man seems like he could carry something in. Best to you.
Kind Regards
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for all your responses!! Well i went out last night and low and behold, my brother and him were out. He came straight up to me and kissed me and then went to the bar, but after about 15mins or so i wondered where he was. I found him at the bar with his ex all over him. My brother came straight up to me and said 'She wont leave him alone'. When she finally left, he came over to me and kept trying to kiss me, dance with me and just talk to me. And i said 'What do you want?' and he said 'I want you'. But by now i was so pissed off, i ignored him the whole night. He tried his best to talk to me, walk me to a taxi and even text me when i got home, but i ignored it all.
Today he text me asking what was wrong, and i told him straight. And he said yeah im really sorry about that babe, hopefully ill see you out on the weekend.
I am CONFUSED!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010): Whate everybody said. Plus...I'll add in another possibility......he may be a virgin and trying to keep it. Everyone seems to forget some guys out there want to save themselves for the right girl. Which if you play your cards rihgt, may be you! Good luck. He sounds like a nice guy. Breakfast alone is a good sign...the vast majority would split, expect YOU to make breakfast, or take you out to breakfast. Nice gesture.
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A
male
reader, mrvhappy  +, writes (29 September 2010):
Hi,
I agree with everthing that everyone else has said, but would also like to add the following.
1) Unwritten Rule No 1 between guys. Normally mates sisters are off the radar, unless you are VERY serious about them ( ie no one nite stands etc)
2) I'm sure he's respecting yr brothers house by not having sex with his best mates sister at HIS BM's house...rule No 2 if rule 1 is not adhered to....You man probably wouldnt be able make much noise/or want you to make much noise when having sex... it would be like rubbing yr brothers nose in it.
God to his place and see how is goes
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010): It sounds like he is a guy of character who is acting out of respect to his friend. By all means text him, but don't pressure him at all. My guess is that he is waging an inner debate: I like her so much v. Fng my best friends little sister is Definitely not cool. Just keep having fun. Don't be surprised if he has a little chat with your brother before he takes it to the next level.
I was on the flip side of this. When my wife was 16' many of her older brothers friends slept with her. They clearly had no regard for their friendship with him, and he was too self-absorbed to care and protect his little sis. I will always think less of him for letting this happen. Oh, and the guys who would fuck their friends little sister when she's drunk, or at any time, well they are class A pieces of crap.
So, your question could be phrased like this: please help. I like a really nice guy and don't know what to do...
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010): I respect this guy. I, myself, never touch a woman anyway with any booze in her and the fact he didnt sleep with you in your most advantageous state says a lot about his character. He probably def cares about your brother and his relationship and is easing his way in with you. Not playing any game mind you, but just not following suit like most idiot men do (no offense to the fellas on here tho).
Quite honestly, youre fortunate you met this guy in a club. Its damn rare I think. Give him a fair shot (which it sounds like you are). Dont be baffled, be genuinely surprised that this guy is different and take him for what he is, perhaps a rare true gentleman.
Dont text. Screw that. Be real with this guy as he has with you. Call him and ask him out again. Texting is passive and unassertive. If I like a woman, I damn well let her know straight out and hearing her voice when she's interested would make me crumble lol. texting, you dont get tone of voice or expression or any visual of how the person is saying the words...you just get words. best to you :)
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female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (29 September 2010):
 Sounds like he likes you but doesn't want to rush you or force anything (after all it's not like he'd have known you were interested, would he?) And he might be a little afraid if your brother, perhaps?
Don't overthink it. If you like the fellow, you can text him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010): He's being respectful toward you by not following suit with most guys' intentions on the first date. He must have deeper feelings for you than most guys have the capacity to feel on the first date. In short, he's being a gentleman because he wants more from you than just a night of sex and fun. He's hoping you'll return the love in the future, and sees more potential in a relationship with you than just one or two nights of casual fun, though he most likely enjoys the fun times as well, with you.
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female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (29 September 2010):
 U should be happy that he respected your brother and you and didnt try to have sex with you right there! why dont you wanna take a chance to ge to know this dude? he seems nice. you will more likely destroy everything if u seem overly eager to sleep with him. he will consider you a cheap,club-type-of girl and move on.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (29 September 2010):
 What Cerberus said.
And if you like this guy, think there might be something more, please slow down, relax and just enjoy getting to know him. No pressure for sex or anything, okay? Chill, girl!
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male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (29 September 2010):
 "should i text him Or let him make the effort? I don't wanna be too keen, yet i don't want to look uninterested."
Hah, don't start over-thinking things now... if you guys have always been very "go with the flow" and its been working for you then don't start changing things now. Just go with the flow and enjoy it...
Refreshing post to read :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): Haha this is one of the stranger questions we've had on this site because you know what? Things couldn't be turning out any better than they are.
He's shown you respect at all levels, he hasn't tried to jump your bones when alone with you in bed. He's made breakfast, taken care of you while hungover and generally just wanted to spend time with you and treat you nicely.
If you can't see the sincerity his actions then you have issues hehe.
Of course you should text him, that's what he asked you to do so why not do it? By all means let him make an effort but he's shown you a lot of interest and more than just sexual interest too he seems to really like you, so you might as well meet him half way and text him. Take your time, try not to over think things and just enjoy what's happening right now.
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