A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so I have absolutely no dating knowledge, even though I'm 18. I'm a shy and timid thing, and to be honest, I'm not the best looking thing (and I'm not trying to be humble or modest, I'm just telling the truth). There's this guy who works various positions in my college's cafeteria who looks like he could be in his young 20s. He seems kind of awkward, and other girls have said he looks creepy, but I'm kind of attracted to him since I'm weird like that. The only problem is I have absolutely no idea how to even begin getting to know him. I'm incredibly awkward with conversations, and the most I can picture myself saying is "Hi" and "Thank you" whenever I go in his line. Can someone please help me out here?He doesn't seem to be the kind of guy to like an overly flirty girl so it's not like I could just go up to him and give him my number, and there's probably no way I would ever be that courageous either. I have no idea if he's in a relationship or not, which would of course be a deal breaker. It's just, I'm tired of being alone and I need some dating experience sometime or another. So please help me, without suggesting things that would take me way out of my comfort zone.
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female
reader, CupidsPrincess  +, writes (18 September 2010):
No, it is not modest to walk up to someone who has not shown any interest to you and give your number.
maybe,just ask around about him without arousing much suspiscions about the guy if you are really persistent about him. you would like to know about what sort of a person he is and if he is a relatiosnhip. if you still wnat to give him signals appear every now and then in front of him, make nice eye contacts and smile genuinely and see what happens. you don't need much courage to do that.
there is no harm in being alone unless you meet your real kind of guy!
keep updating us!
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (18 September 2010):
Hi there. "Hi", is a good start. You could then say after that - "How's your day been so far?" Things like that, are always a good way to start up a short chat with someone you don't know. Especially in a situation like this, when you are lining up at a counter to buy your lunch. Bearing in mind, that you are not standing at the counter for any more than say 5 minutes or so. You don't get to say too much in that time.
The main thing is, you just keep it light and friendly.
If you want to get to know him, stand in his line - but perhaps not every day. At least twice a week, a few days apart. You don't want it to look too obvious.
After a while he will see your face as familiar.
It's perfectly normal and not at all flirty (to say hello or hi). When you ask someone how their day has been, it shows you genuinely care about people and that's a good quality for everyone to have.
And when you say hello or hi, don't forget to smile at the same time. It shows you are friendly and approachable. That's also important.
Right at the outset, you can never ask someone if they are in a relationship, as that would be way too obvious. It's also intrusive and offensive. That's just a chance you would have to take, once you get to know him a bit more. If it gets to the stage that he asks you out, well then over a short time it would come out anyway. And if he does ask you out, it probably means that he is free.
Although some of your friends have said they thought that he seemed creepy, what they really see, is probably a nice young man who is naturally shy. It's not just girls who are shy, men can be shy too. Shyness just comes across as aloof sometimes, or just not saying much or not very talkative generally. Lots of people are like this until they know people better. It's not strange behaviour at all. It's absolutely normal.
The main thing is to just be yourself. Don't try to say funny things (trying to get his attention), it will go over as being forced and unnatural. Just relax and be genuine in everything you say and do.
After you have finished being served, before you leave the counter, say - "Thanks very much", smile, then say - "Have a nice afternoon". Then walk away and smile again before you do.
I'm sure you will do fine. Just be true to yourself.
Hope this helps you. Take care and best wishes.
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A
female
reader, irishmichelle +, writes (18 September 2010):
 Honey.....life is to short if you go around being afraid to make the first move then you have him and others afraid to do the same thing then whats going to happen? (nothing) You have to be bold just once the worst that could happen is that he says no. You just look right at him and say, "i'm curious are you with anyone." if he says no....then you say, "good because I need someone to go to the movies with." ha ha anyhting thats just an example. Don't ever let a moment pass you by... because if you do then they all will.
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