A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hey hey..this question is to anyone..Im with my bf for 3 yrs and we r living together. When it comes to dinners, well, I do them every single day. I like to experiment when cooking so that gives me fun. And once in a while, I do some "romantic" dinners with desert etc. Well, I have done one this week, and it was great. The next day after, he comes home from work, I would have hoped that he would do something romantic in return but nothing except just him being angry due to work. The day after, same story, comes home and fumes up on me because he couldnt make it to some practice game due to being at work. Well, today, in the morning he gets up and leaves for work, few mins later he's back through the door cause his bike tire is flat. I decided to help and try to pump and he's tire looked fine since he's pissy not wanting to be doing it himself, that he just got angry at me cussing me off just cause i tried to explain that maybe that just happened to the tire. With his anger, he walked out of the place to work, trying to be helpful and romantic while he's the opposite to me. Advice for me to deal with this will be gratful
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female
reader, spirited  +, writes (14 June 2007):
he's getting TOO comfortable with the idea of you catering to him. You have to cut down on the cooking and the romanticizing. I understand perfectly, b/c you treat him as you would like to be treated, well... maybe he's doing the same. Don't cuss at him or anything, but don't do so much for him anymore. He'll start noticing after the second day that you don't cook for him that something's changing. Don't be so submissive to him. Cook for yourself, or just have a bowl of cereal, and leave it up to him to feed himself! He can pump his own tires, I'm sure he's a big boy.
Take care of yourself, he'll start questioning what's going on and maybe then you'll be able to talk.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (14 June 2007):
Has he always been like this? If so he’s a taker, not a giver. There are a lot of them about – both sexes. Wait till he’s not in a bad mood, and tell him that he isn’t treating you with the same consideration that you treat him, and that you want to see some improvements. Doubtful that he will ever be perfect, but he might not have realised how much his behaviour affects you. Seems weird I know, but a lot of us have never been made to realise that other people have feelings too. If this is a recent thing, then you need to ask if there’s anything wrong.
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