A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:4 years ago when i was a virgin i was raped by a friend. I never told anyone except my ex who got drunk and told more people including my best friend and her bf, my brother and sister in law... and threatened to tell my dad.. (i know great guy?)and whenever i wanted to talk about it he wouldnt want to.I am only now realising what it has done to me. All my life i have been used by guys. I find myself in situations where i do not want to do things with guys but they pressure me, i keep saying no but they persist.i have always felt like i have no choice, like im meant to do what they want. i dont know what to do. i dont want to be in these situations anymore. I dont want to be used but i dont know what to do?do i need to see a counseller or something? i dont have any money to.
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best friend, drunk, money, my ex, sister in law Reply to this Question
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female
reader, niki20  +, writes (16 April 2009):
 thats not right. you didnt deserve it. he was drunk so he prolly thought he could get away w/it. dont listen to him, thats not a very good thing that " a friend" would do. you need someone to be supportive in this situation not one who doesnt seem to care.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks alot... i told my ex the one person i thought i could trust and he said you probably lead him on and deserved it :(
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A
female
reader, ellexxx  +, writes (15 April 2009):
i completely understand and im really sorry to hear that. if you are in school or college they often have a counsellor that works there that you can see for free.
secondly, if you want people to start treating you differently, you need to fake confidence if you dont have it. i know its hard but if its out of your comfort zone and you are doing it, you are taking a step in the right direction.
having the confidence to tell someone what you are / are not willing to do is SO important, and maybe, until you feel confident enough to tell them to back off, you should probably not get too involved with guys for now.
alternatively, when you feel close enough to a boy to trust them with what happened to you, explain to them about it and if they are the decent guy you think they are, they will be as supportive as possible
i hope this helped you in some way
source: v similar personal experience
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A
female
reader, niki20 +, writes (15 April 2009):
if your parents have insurance they should cover it.you should see one. of it doesnt then you can always see a counseler though your countys health dept. they go by your income. one time i went and they charged me $11.00. maybe its best if you tell your parents. you didnt do anything wrong.
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