A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hii have this little problem that i cant get past its masturbation. my fiance says he doesnt masturbate because he knows that i have a problem with it and i want to believe that he doesn't but i can't. i dont like to leave him alone for fear that he might do it and he tells me that he won't do it and he doesn't do it. how do i know that he is telling the truth or how can i overcome this problem i have with it? i hate the fact that it bothers me and i want him to be able to do it and not have a problem why am i so obsessed with this ?? can anyone help me
View related questions:
fiance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (27 March 2008):
 If he felt the urge to have sex and you are not there,
he need to release it just like if your bladder is full,
you cannot hold on indefinitely.
As long as he is masturbating to release those pent up urges
and not sleeping with another girl, you should just let it go.
Some guys want instant gratifications and cannot wait.
You should not feel that he must release his sperms into you only.
That is expecting too much from him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni think that it might be that he gets turned on very quickly that bothers me and if im not home and he gets turned on then he might masturbate rather than waiting for me.. the other night we looked up something together and he got an erection just at the pictures on the screen (it wasnt porn) and the images were only on the screen for a few seconds and he got erect over it i asked him how come he got erect so fast and he said it was the excitement of looking at it with me that turned him on but i dont think it was as he was erect before i sat with him. that dont relly bother me he is a guy and they get horny fast the thing that bothers me is that he may look at this get horny and do it while im not home instead of waiting for me am i wrong to feel like this
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (27 March 2008):
He is made of flesh ,bones and blood and he is not a machine.
A man has limitations.
The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.
Enjoy it while you can because at this pace ,
he won't last long.
He is not superman!
...............................
A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (27 March 2008):
Ok I understand a bit better now. So your problem isnt really to do with him masterbating, its the fact that he may be masterbating to porn or with the vision of another woman, not you, in his head? Is that whats really upsetting you?
I can understand how that would upset you and ive felt like that before too. Personally (prob cuz im female) I dont understand how a guy can masterbate to like a complete strangers picture (such as a model, porn star etc), for me there has to be some emotional connection to beable to be turned on. So i guess its a guy thing?Perhaps one of the guys here would be better at explaining it and helping you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008): I think it's better for a man to masturbate than to cheat on you. Besides it's natural and harmless. Do you ever masturbate? If you do, you can't fault him for doing what you also do. Perhaps you should add some spice to the relationship and "give him a hand".
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsorry I didnt really give enough info here
we have sex every night sometime twice a day our sex life is fantastic and he does not masterbate over having sex with me at least i dont think he does! and i do masterbate him as he does me we both have high sex drives i just dont want to have the question in the back of my head everytime i walk out the door "is he going to masterbate?" how can i get rid of this thought.. also when ive been out we will usually have sex within a half hour of me getting home so does he masterbate while im gone?
...............................
A
male
reader, 17Irish17  +, writes (26 March 2008):
I agree with happytochat.Also, the fact is 9 out of 10 men masturbate and the tenth one is a liar. Even men who are married masturate. It doest mean they care any less for you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (26 March 2008):
If he satisfies you sexually , then you should not have a thing about his masturbation.
Treat it like an over flow.
To know if he had masturbated or not , look at the amount of
sperm he secretes during sex.
You will have an inkling if he did it or not.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): My husband masturbates instead of having sex with me so it upsets me terribly. Maybe this is why you are feeling so upset about it? It is the question of why does he prefer to do this instead of having sex with you? Is it because he does it all the time yet sex with you is so infrequent you can't remember when you last had sex together? If this is the case, then you need to talk to him about it and get some answers. I know this will be really difficult but if your sex life is suffering and making you so miserable because of it, then I would say think very seriously before you get married because this situation won't get any better if you do not resolve it now, it will get worse when you are married, men take you for granted once they have a ring on your finger and it is harder to leave.
Only you know how you feel about this in the longer term and whether you can cope with it. If I had dealt with it before we got married, one way or the other, then I woulnd't be in such a mess now with such feelings every day of being unloved, unattractive etc - I probably woulnd't have got married and found someone who had a much higher sex drive towards me rather than masturbating all the time.
Please, don't get yourself stuck in the same trap as I am - sort it out now and see if he is prepared to make you feel happier over things, if not, then I think you know the answer.
Good luck xx
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): The best thing to do would be for you to get over your dislike of masturbation. If he were to do it you're the one making it a problem not him.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): You know, masturbation is normal. It doesnt harm you, it doesnt break any laws. It's just your own personal way of exploring your own body and finding pleasure from it - can he really punish/blame him for this?
But everyone's different. Some people are really against it, some do it every night. Your fiance obviously enjoys these feelings, when he masturbates. Do you have a good sex life? If not, this could be the key. You're not 80 yet, he's bound to want sex and have sexual urges! And even if some nights you're a bit too tired for sex, why don't you masturbate him instead? Get him to show you how he likes it, and you do it for him.
Yet, you can't really blame him for what he does. I'm sure he doesnt mean to upset you. Talk to him about it, and maybe try what I said above :] good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (26 March 2008):
You have to start looking at why masturbation upsets you so much. How does it make you feel when he does it? What thoughts go through your mind? are you religous?
...............................
|
