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*risten
writes: Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years and have a baby girl called Sydney but I'm scared he doesn't want to be with me no more. I am 17, he is 18, our baby is one. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2005): Well to be honest, you should never have had a baby that young, and not being married isnt too smart either. That being said, I think you should look at your situation, if you cant afford the baby you should go after your boyfriend for child support. That way when he leaves you, you will still have income from him to support your child.
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reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (26 June 2005):
 Step One: Recognise that you can't make someone stay with you.
Step Two: Check with Legal Aid and your local welfare agency to find out what you need to do to ensure that your daughter and you are going to be able to survive if your boyfriend does leave.
I wish that I could give you a pat answer and tell you that a sexy outfit and a bright, sassy lipstick will change his mind and keep you all together as a unit, but we all know that it's not that simple.
You've obviously been with your boyfriend since you were barely more than kids, and you already have a child of your own before you're even at the age of majority. That's a huge responsibility for you and you might need some help.
That's why I'd go - soon! - down to your local welfare office and get some information about what your legal rights are, in terms of child support. At 18, your boyfriend may be wrestling with all sorts of conflicting desires. He might want to stay and be a happy family with you, but still want to climb aboard a frieghter to Antarctica. In other words, even if he cares for you and Sydney, he might still go, so you need to be prepared for the possibility. Your boyfriend shouldn't just disappear and not contribute to your daughter's care, so you need to make sure that he pays a fair amount, and that he gets ample chances to care for her too. That's where a legal advisor can help you, by telling you what you need to do.
A sad fact of life is that having a child can put a massive strain on your relationship, and "kids having kids" have an even worse statistic for staying together, so try to be brave. Think of your daughter first and make sure that she's taken care of, no matter what.
In the meantime, you can go a long way towards finding out if something's wrong by talking to your boyfriend about this. Say, "Rick, lately I've been feeling like you're not happy with me and Sydney. I'd feel better if we talked about it, so I know where we stand."
Maybe it's not as bad as you're presuming. It could be something like he's having a tough time at work and can't concentrate on your relationship right now. Talk with him about it and try to find out.
Hope this helps.
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