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female
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*una~
writes:My boyfriend thinks I'm too negative when it comes to finding a solution to a problem. I always say it won't work. When I face a problem, I always want to leave it until I really have to face the problem. I also think about the worst scenario when I approach a problem.I feel it's me who is affecting our relationship. I should have been living with my boyfriend for a long time. I'm afriad my parents (traditional thinking) will oppose me living with my bf when I'm not married. I'm afraid they will get frustrat with me like what they did to my older sister. I know this is no excuse. I feel I need to take immediate action. I am still afraid though. How can I do this right? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (28 May 2008):
 Hi Hunny
The last post has good advise I have found you a link that could help you.....
http://www.lifepositive.com/Mind/psychology/positive-thinking/positive-thinking.html
I understand how you feel as other peoples ways of doing things and beliefs can affect the way we think, And sometimes as in your case can put negative thought patterns everytime you think of something good that may change your life, This is your life not anyone elses..Dont worry so much about what others will think...It does not say your age at the top so Im hoping your not to young to be thinking along these lines, I hope that link help hunny TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (28 May 2008):
 We don't know how old you are, which would be very illustrative here. However, let's suppose you're not a thirteeen year old, but old enough to make your own decisions.
Many people frown on a couple living together before marriage. Where I live, many women are advised against it. Conventional wisdom, often true, is that a man won't marry you if you're giving him all the perks of married life anyways, and then without the signing of any paper.
That is one negative way to look at it. The positive way is that living with your boyfriend will help you really determine whether you and he can make it. You don't get to know a person until you share the home and expectations.
That said, I think that you can either choose to stay with your parents, or move in with your boyfriend, but the decision needs to be just the one you make, on your own terms. Making your decisions would be another step in the road to emotional independence, which is something everybody imperiously needs. If you stay with your parents, that will be because you wanted it so. If you leave, it will be because you thought that was best.
Also, you need to take chances in life. Otherwise, it isn't worth living: it become too predictable, too safe, too aseptic. Life is a constant stream of decisions involving taking your chances. Just learn how to do those leaps of faith on faith and a little foresight.
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