A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So my ex broke up with me over 5 months ago. I loved here dearly and was devistated when she broke up with me. I did all the wrong things for 4 months after the break up. I kept in contact with her a lot and I acted extremely needy and desperate. It, of course, pushed her away and ended up hurting me even more. I only contacted her twice in the past 6 weeks (once to apologize for how I've acted and once to wish her a great last year of college). I'm not going to contact her anymore. I know too much damage has been done for her and I to get back together and that we obviously weren't meant to be.The problem I'm having now is that I can't shake the feeling that I won't find someone else. She is the only girlfriend I've ever had and I was 22 at the time. Now I'm 23. People always say that I'm a nice and sweet guy. However, I'm really shy so I don't meet many new people and girls aren't usually interested in shy guys. Sometimes I feel like this one relationship I had was a fluke. I know I'm probably being too hard on myself but I'd like to hear what other people think.
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male
reader, maxi_enigma  +, writes (24 August 2009):
 hey dude something similar happened to me 5 months ago coincidentally. the only diff thing wud be the distance thing in my case.and you know what, i still love her very very much.i dont hate her for whatever she had done to me, because i just cant. and trust me you will do fine.stop feeling sorry for yourself and move headlong towards something better which can give you peace. and another thing i would like to say, dont entangle yourself in the delusions of she coming back to you because you might get hurt by doing so. and dont expect anything, trust me it will really help you out, when one doesn't expect anything or is free from desires,then anything you get will make you happy. its not the end of the world, only the tip of the iceberg.the only condition you should follow in love is to love without condition. i know it's difficult but at the end of the day you will be at peace with yourself rather than feeling guilty about everything.peace bro !~
A
male
reader, EllsworthT  +, writes (24 August 2009):
Break-ups suck, but so do long-term relationships and most marriages, so don't fret it.Love is hard to find these days because people have more discriminating taste thanks to all the beautiful people they see on television and in Internet porn. If you're average-looking, you might want to start thinking about the priesthood.Obviously, you're the obsessive-compulsive, needy type. Girls pick up on that pretty quickly. They equate it with "weird creep", so you need to get out of that quickly. My advice is to hire a professional or two (where it's legal, of course!), who will make you feel manly. TRUST ME, I've been where you are, it works. Political-correctness be damned. Then you need to hit the gym. Hookers and gym. If at the end of three months, you don't feel like the king of the world, I will give you your money back.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2009): I felt this way once after a break-up. I was the same age as you, around 22.For one year, I spent all my time mourning this guy and wishing (even praying) that we would get back together.While we never did, today we are still friends. What I wish I knew is that I wasted a year of my life. Everyone is different; there are girls out there who like shy guys. You'll find someone again. I promise. Enjoy the time you have being single right now. Develop your interests and hobbies.And what I wish I had known: Try not to feel sad and down. Things never stay the same for long.
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A
female
reader, smartgirl100 +, writes (24 August 2009):
You will eventually find someone else. There are all types of people in the world and there are many women who are looking. You should take your time, get involved in activities, hobbies and stop focusing on her. You should try to take up an activity that will help you meet other people. If you believe you will find someone, you will.
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