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I'm a pregnant 17 year old and my BF wants to keep the baby, but I'm just not sure!

Tagged as: Pregnancy, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 April 2007) 15 Answers - (Newest, 9 August 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *aizyjay writes:

I'm 17 years old and found out i am pregnant 4 days ago, i have been with my partner for 5 months and are very happy, he wants me to keep the baby but i am not to sure, my family is telling me to get rid of it.

How will i realise what I actually want so i can make a choice? i dont want to split with my boyfriend but i need to be sure on this. plz help. Thanx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2010):

i know its hard to think what you are going too do in your situation, at the end of the day theirs two of you in the relationship. you just have to think whether this is right for you and that your not going to regret it... im 17 and have been with my boyfriend nearly 6 months and i foud out last week that im 3 and half weeks pregnant... ive decided to keep it even tho when i found out i was upset and depressed now im sure i want to keep my little monkey and im so excited ive looked at baby names just waiting to tell my parents ekkk!... anywayss just do whats right for and make sure if you going to get rid of it its your choice not your families!

well good luck, chin up and member if yoou do keep it you can still have a life :)

good luck chick

XxXxXx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008):

I think that you should take a step back and really think about this for a second. yes its a big deal for you to have a child but you have to do whats right for you and not anyone else...its something that you and your bf will have to finally talk about and deside... i know if it were me the only person that would matter is my baby and my man you really have to think about your plains in life and wather or not its right.. can you give it a good life? can and your bf handle a child goather? will he really stay in the long run? is this the person you want to spend that rest of your life with? you should just go over to his house and talk it out its between you to not anyone else!

i hope this helped good luck

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A male reader, Flynn 24 Australia +, writes (8 July 2008):

Why don't the women EVER think about the Father of the child in this?

It's as much the Father's child as it is the mother's.

And don't give me this bullshit about being able to walk away any time they want to.

Only the most despicable of men would even consider that.

It should be illgal to perform an abortion when 1 of the parents objects.

Once that baby is inside and growing, the body of the woman belings to that child for 9 months. And anyone who aborts an unborn baby for slefish reasons such as 'It will hurt my career' is inhuman and should be jailed.

There are always ways to keep a career on track with a child, mainly because you can sue any company or school for not accepting you because you are a mother. They aren't allowed to discriminate, thats not to say they don't, but if you;re smart you can still do everything you planned.

Only it will be slightly more challenging.

Flynn 24

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008):

im 17 and 24 weeks pregnant i had been with my bf for 2 years when i found out i was pregnant... i decided straight away i was keeping the baby before i even told my boyfriend because i knew that people would try and pressure me into doing what they want me to do and my decision would be made for me.

Take some time out for yourself to think about what it is excatly that you want to do, no one can make the decision for you and at the end of the day it is your life and no one else can make the decision for you.

My parents kept telling me when i told them that i wouldn't be able to complete my a levels or go to university, but i have sorted it out with my school and as i am due in august i am going to be home schooled by my teachers and i will attend my exams have the baby in the summer and then take the first month back to school after summer off.

Everything will work out, you cannot choose the cards life deals you but you will always end up making the decision that is best for you.

Don't let your boyfriend or anyone else have an effect on your decision!!!!!

I hope that this is some help for you but just remember your boyfriend can walk away at any time if he decides that he cannot cope with the situation, i made my decision and my bf said he would be with me through everything but the stress has become too much for him and we are no longer together but we remain very good friends.

you do what makes YOU feel right hun don't do what others want just to please them do what you feel is right. there are a lot of teen pregnacys websites out there that you should chceck out

good luck =) xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008):

im 17 and 24 weeks pregnant i had been with my bf for 2 years when i found out i was pregnant... i decided straight away i was keeping the baby before i even told my boyfriend because i knew that people would try and pressure me into doing what they want me to do and my decision would be made for me.

Take some time out for yourself to think about what it is excatly that you want to do, no one can make the decision for you and at the end of the day it is your life and no one else can make the decision for you.

My parents kept telling me when i told them that i wouldn't be able to complete my a levels or go to university, but i have sorted it out with my school and as i am due in august i am going to be home schooled by my teachers and i will attend my exams have the baby in the summer and then take the first month back to school after summer off.

Everything will work out, you cannot choose the cards life deals you but you will always end up making the decision that is best for you.

Don't let your boyfriend or anyone else have an effect on your decision!!!!!

I hope that this is some help for you but just remember your boyfriend can walk away at any time if he decides that he cannot cope with the situation, i made my decision and my bf said he would be with me through everything but the stress has become too much for him and we are no longer together but we remain very good friends.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2008):

I was in exactly the same situation as you about 3 weeks ago. I'm 17 and my boyfriend wanted me to keep the baby but my family n his family were tellin me to get rid of it. Before I'd told my family I had made a decision - I was keeping it. But when they nagged and nagged me I was really confused. At this point i was living with my auntie and hadn't told my mum because we weren't on very good terms. But when me n my auntie fell out she rang my mum n told her I was pregnant. My mum rang me and realised how upset I was so she took me home with her and asked me what I wanted to do. She told me to ignore what anyone says and to do what I wanted to do. So after finding out that I could think about it without any pressure I cancelled my abortion and decided to keep the baby. I'm only 10 weeks along now so ageees left to wait!!! Hope u make the decision that is best for you!! xx

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A female reader, sophiejade United Kingdom +, writes (27 November 2007):

huni its up 2 u its your body but dont let anyone pressure u to do anything u dont want,i personaly cd never abort but everyone is diffrent me and my partner of 2 years are trying for a baby now,im here if u wonna talk im on facebook as sophie-jade sharpxxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2007):

im in same position actually... and im gna have an abortion, i am 17 and my bf wants to keep it. My family say thyl support me wateva. But i am doin A levels and wud end up with no career and no way of properly raising a real child. U will not look at ur child in the future and wonder wat this one will hav looked like becuz every time u use a condom or hav a coil fitted those eggs and sperm cud hav fertilised and wat wud they have looked like as well??? good luck with ur decision but if u do hav an abortion then do NOT feel guilty.... 1 in 3 women do. Good Luck xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007):

look it is not your families disicion you run your own life dont let others run it for you so listen to your heart its your baby not theirs. so i think you should ask for their support instead of disagreeing.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2007):

Hay sweetie... im 18 but found out i was preg when i waz 17... it was the hardest thing i had to to because i wasnt even with the farther anymore but in the end i kept it even though he didnt agree at the time..... i just didnt have the heart to kill it when it hadent done anything wrong..... but anyways its up 2 wat u feel is wright.. . im about to have my baby girl anyday now and i no it will be hard but just looking @ those 3d pic of her makes my heart melt.. and i even found a new bf who i met when i was 3 months preg n were madly inlove with each other and he loves the baby already, he thinks of himself as the farther........ which makes me love him so much more... dnt look @ all the negatives of having a baby coz there isnt that many belive me theres more good. having a lil baby look up at u n smile is so worth it... i no from expireance that when u have an abortion it jus makes it worse thinkin about what u could of had n that there will neva be onother human like it ever.. they have feelings 2 babe...........

from Brooke (39 weekz preg) XoX

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2007):

heyy babeee

its up to you what you want. your bf might want you to keep this baby but its mostly your decision your the one that has to look after it. i think you should look at some different teenage pregnacie sites and see what they say. i found out i was pregnant the other day and im onli 14 so i know what yor feeling, but just look at different sites.. they have really helped me so i hope they can help you too.

talk to your bf and make sure that it is truely what he wants and that he isnt just ganna leave you someday to look after the baby by your self.

good luck babeee:) xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2007):

Hello. How hard it must be to make up your mind about this. Having an abortion is an OK thing to decide but whether or not you have an abortion you can't undue what has happened. If you have a family one day you will look at them and wonder what the other baby would have looked like and whether they would have loved each other, as well as a whole lot of other things that you can't imagine.

It is possible that you will be very sad at times in your like and you certainly will never forget it. You may otherwise be glad and think you made the right decision, in total confidence of that fact all your life. People also feel that way. I had one friend who had an abortion when she was very young and never managed to conceive again. Not likely, but things like this happen, she did not realise that she was not very fertile, it is not the sort of thing you think of so young.

If you believe that you can keep this baby and be OK, then you do it and your family will just have to help! I am sure they love you very much. If you allow them to pressurize you, you will also blame them for forcing you into a life changing experience that you did not really want.

If the boy wants you to keep it that is great. These are the alternatives. Whatever you decide I wish you the very best of luck.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (20 April 2007):

TasteofIndia agony auntHi sweetness,

This is partly your partners decision, but mostly this should be YOUR decision. It's your body and your life. An abortion is a perfectly acceptable way to handle things, as is adoption. If you decide to keep your baby, that's wonderful too and I offer you the best of luck.

It must feel like crap to be pulled from both sides like this. Your family tells you one thing, your boyfriend wants another... I'd say take an entire day - or couple of days if you can - just to yourself and put everyone else out of your mind. Think about what you want.

What I did when faced with a decision such as yours... I was by myself and I imagines that I had just had an abortion. Then I concentrated on whether I was feeling a great sense of relief or a great sense of regret. What I ended up feeling isn't the point... it's all about YOU here, toots. That might be something you want to try.

I wish you all the luck in the world. I know it's a hard decision.

Hugs!

xxIndia

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A male reader, rk06 United States +, writes (20 April 2007):

rk06 agony auntDid you ever realize that it is also HIS baby? You made the choice to have sex. Pregnancy is the result. It is not right to face the consequences. Plus, you are talking about a human here. Killing a baby simply because you do not want it is... frankly.... disgusting. I dont intend to offend you, I'm just bein real.

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A female reader, dollparts Canada +, writes (20 April 2007):

dollparts agony auntyou do what makes YOU feel right hun don't do what others want just to please them do what you feel is right. there are a lot of teen pregnacys websites out there that you should chceck out

good luck =) xxx

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