A
male
age
36-40,
*istraughtLove
writes:Is there a difference from being "in love" with someone, and "loving" someone? i ask this bc I'm in a very difficult relationship. My best friend and I have been dating for a little more than a month and she is now back living with her ex bf. She and i had a looooong talk about this, bc it was troubling me. I was hurt, confused and frustrated at the idea that i was a rebound and she'll just end back in the arms of her ex.... well she tells me that he does love her ex and care about him.... but she is IN LOVE with me???? how is this possible? i don't know. i askd her to confrm what type of love for him is she referring and she doesnt know, so i askd plainly is she in love with him? and she says no she isnt. she's not even sexually attracted to him. but yet he has kissed her (and she kissed him back) and he sleeps in the bed w/ her but she wont allow him to hold her???? ( again all this she claims).... ne way, she claims she is now at a confused state bc she not only loves this other guy, but she has history with him - 2 1/2 yrs worth..... where she and i been close friends for 1.5 yrs and are now dating after she broke up with her ex and she is "in love" with me..... i need help bc obviously I'm not in a clear state of mind. thanks
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male
reader, enjoimx +, writes (4 March 2009):
 Hey no worries bro. You are obviously in a very hazy state of mind.
This one is easy. EASY. Break up with her!!!!! NOW QUICK. She is full of SH*T and is using you and her ex at the SAME TIME. How does that sound? Your dating an insecure girl who is using you and her ex to get some twisted lifestyle that doesnt even satisfy her. Nobody is satisfied in this crazy drama threesome mixup.
If you ever want to be happy, you will see her for what she is and let her go. Thank her for her time, and be on with yourself, on to the girl who loves you for YOU.
A
female
reader, Tara53 +, writes (4 March 2009):
Hopless Romantic, I will be the first of many to tell you to move on. This girl is obviously very confused but actions speak louder than words. No one should EVER move in with their ex while with someone else, EVER. My friend, you are being used.
I myself have been used multiple times and now steer clear of anything like it. If she's hanging around someone else and you just have this gut feeling telling you there is something more to it, there is. And no matter how much she tells you she loves you, it is actions that express love, not words.
I know that it is excruciating pain when you are in love wth someone so much that you'd die for them and you realize their feelings are not as deep but know this, you are a catch. There are so many more deserving women out there looking for a romantic just like you! Don't EVER give up hope and don't ever settle for less.
Good luck
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