A
female
 ,
*larey
writes:I have had to return to my parent's house following a divorce, although I am waiting to return to my own home, which should be in about four months. They have been very supportive and we have managed well even though I have become a born again teenager in their eyes. My seven year old son is with me. This summer I met my first love who has lived in Australia for the past 9 years. My parents banned us from being together when I was fifteen years old because it was "too intense". He came back to say goodbye to friends, since his parents were going there too. We spent some time together and it slowly came out that he had a very bad marriage in which he had not even been kissed for 15 years. He was very overweight. By the end of the time he was here we found that we had been very much affected by each other, he told me that he had started feeling rats in his guts and was very afraid that he was falling in love with me again. He went back, lost 50lbs and atarted applying for jobs over here. Now he is back and we are seeing each other which is wonderful. His parents will not being going because of bad health. My Dad has decided to ban him from the house because he has left his two daughters (18 and 19 years old) behind. I have tried to explain that he is putting together a fund for them to come over when they want to. He loves them very much and is missing them. I know in Australia people have a different attitude to distance and are more accustomed to travel. My Dad is from up North and thinks that families should be in the same vicinity if possible. Having said that he moved South when we were small which meant I was deprived of my grandparents most of my life except Christmas. In fact he left his mother behind didn't he? ....hhm. Anyway I have said that I will have to move out if this continues, not because of the chap but because of the way he is treating me. He seemed to soften as he does not want us to go. I have also said that by making this stand he is pushing this relationship up a level of seriousness that I do not want until we have had some time to get to know each other. My man is unaware of this issue and is coming to collect me tonight to take me out. My Dad says he is happy to babysit but is going to go upstairs so he does not have to say hello to him. Any thoughts?
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female
reader, wishes +, writes (31 January 2006):
 I feel like your dad is being very selfish. I actually think that you were meant to be together! How nice that you have met again after all of this time. You need to try to not take notice of what your Dad says, and if you feel it getting to you, you really do need to say something. The one thing you cant have is your dad talking harshly about your relationship around your son. He is only eight, but he will hear it and understand what is going on and he will listen to what your father says and will probably be more inclined to listen to him. Your partner is not a bad father for leaving his girls, they are almost all grown up now and he needs to start living his life. Its his chance to be happy now. Please dont let your dad get you down and dont let him use the babysitting against you. If hes not completely happy babysitting tell him youll find someone else- it doesnt have to be up for discussion, its your life. Best wishes and take care of yourself. Im glad that you have found happiness again. x
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