A
male
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anonymous
writes:i've been in a relatonship now for 3 months. i'm with the most amazing girl there is. She's really hot and I'm not saying that just because I'm her boyfriend.however lately I've started to feel a bit hesitant about it all. Firstly she does a bit of modelling for a mens magazine (not topless though just bra and underwear) but that didn't bother me much. The thing that does is that she always gets attention from really sleazy jerky guys (ones who you'd imagine to start a fight) even though they're nice to her. I'm a bit nerdy and she's the opposite yet when I asked her about all the attention she said don't worry about it, I get it all the time, I'm with you that's important. I'm still not sure though so what should I do, besides that problem I adore her.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): You need to balance two things very carefully.
Number one, be sure she's faithful to you. Her past habits are probably a better tip-off than anything in this area. If you think you should be suspicious then MAYBE you should be. (And make sure she still seems to view you as a formidable mate who is worthy of effort to keep.)
Number two, DO NOT get jealous in a bad/clingy way if you're not completely sure that it's justified. A little jealousy usually goes a very long way. It's flattering for her to feel like you WANT her, but it's absolutely a total turn-off if your behaviour ever begins to seem like it's a sign of your insecurity.
She basically needs to feel like you want her (and maybe you're capable of whacking some jerk on the head for it if it was called for). But you also CAN'T seem like you are really worried that you can't ever do better than her if she leaves. She needs to feel very valuable to you, but not totally irreplaceable either.
A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (14 November 2007):
 Enjoy your girlfriend. If you continue to bring this up, she will sense your insecurity and most likely bolt. There are all sorts of reasons women pick their men, even hot ones. Just be sure you give her attention....
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