| A
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: i'm 14 my boyfriend is 18. he used to be a drug addict but isn't anymore(THANKGOD). i'm 3 months pregnant by him. should i keep the baby or have an abortion? my family and his family know but he don't. i don't know whether to tell him or not. i love him so much and i think the baby will make him grow up a bit. i've still got school to go to and i'm doing pretty well in hiding it though all my teachers know but no students. not even my best friend!!. should i keep it or have and abortion without telling him?? i'm really messed up and don't know what to do??
View related questions:
abortion, best friend, my ex, my teacher Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeh. its a boy.Or jayden thinks so! i wanted to call it kayden so it rhymes with his dads name. jayden sed no straight away! then jayden thought of a lovely name. we are going to call him peter after the little boy who was killed by his parents and we both agreed finally!!! don't worry i'll keep u updated!
A
female
reader, blackroses2989  +, writes (4 December 2008):
 Well congratulations then! Do you know if it is a boy or girl yet? I know its most likely way too soon but plz keep me updated lol. I want to know how everything goes, feel free to snd me msges too! Good luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe've had a good talk and i've to keep it. my doctor sed the abortion could do me more harm than good bcos i'm so far gone so i'm kepping it and i don't know how we'll cope but we will. my nxt scan was this monday but i moved it to tomorrow so i'll see if it is ok.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe has only just got up! i was up at 6:00am ready for school just to be told it was closed! it is now 11:07am and he came downstairs and sat down on the sofa and just blanked me. so i asked him what he thought and he sed he thought it was great nd we'll get through it so i really don't know what to do now! i've got u guys saying have and abortion and my family and boyfriend saying keep it! i'm just gonna have a think and i'll tell you tonight if i've made my mind up!thnx 4 all ure answers though!
...............................
A
female
reader, blackroses2989 +, writes (4 December 2008):
Hi honey. Wow you really need to think about this. Its important to do what you think is best ofr yourself, but honestly as for your boyfriend... he needs to grow up on his own. Trust me on this, my boyfriend is 20 we live together and while he is sweet and helps with gas food and rent, emotionally he's not as grown up. Inside hes still just a boy, while he is trying to transition, it takes most boys longer. Personally I'm not sure if your boyfriend could take care of a baby. Is he responsible? I mean if he just got off drugs he may stil be trying to set himself straight a baby may just overwhelm him. Anyways its not just him, its you too. I bet you get that "youre too young" business all the time. And it seems you are much more mture than a fourteen year old. But its true you have your whole life ahead of you. Since your doing well in school I'd say to try to stay in school, and just enjoy the time you have with your boyfriend. You need to have fun in your younger years. Go to movies, go to the mall, make fun memories, wait until youve finnished school have a secure job, a place to live, and a budget for your baby. You may not relize it but theres also medical insurance to pay for, and then you would need to put money away for your child to go to college or do what he/she wants to do. Trust me its very hard. I'm sure you dont want to live with your parents for ever either. Its much harder to save money when you have a baby. Honestly i would love ot have a baby right now too. I'm 19 and rent a house with my bf and go to college, but if i decided to have a baby now it would be very hard financially and I wouldnt have any time. If I ever wanted to see my friends or go out to dinner w my bf i couldnt because of the baby. I'm nt saying never but i encourage you to consider the responsibilities, not to mention, what would happen if your boyfriend didnt help you? Sweetie all in all its your decision, but I think you are rushing theings just a little you seem like such a bright, sweet girl. Hold off for at least 8 more years okay? Good luck with whatever decision you make, if you ever need anything or any help plz msg me or email me at [email address blocked] Good luck sweetie~~3 meg ^_^
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi. he's just come back. gone straight to bed. my bed! i can't believe he can think that i'm going to sleep in the same bed as him the way he's treated me 2 nite! BOYS!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2008): My advice is that you are too young to have a child. Putting your boyfriend aside are you ready to be a full time mum, its not easy. I was a mum at 17 and i found it very isolateing even though i had my boyfriend who was also 18 at the time and my family. Please you have your whole life to have a child, you have your futhure to think about, college, university, i missed out on all that and i regret it so much. Let your boyfiend grow up also, he is not a man yet and he might end up resenting you in the furthre because you are also stopping him from following his dreams.Enjoy each other now when you are young.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe just walked out when i told him. dunno when he'll be back or it he's coming back. i'm a little upset but i'm not getting stressed bcos i no it's not good for the baby in case i decide to keep it. i keep you updated if he comes back and what he does.
...............................
A
female
reader, xxkissssxx  +, writes (3 December 2008):
 hi hun Thats a hard one but the basic thing is you have to tell him he is the father after all 3months is quite far gone to be thinking about an abortion and as each day passes you no what will happen. If its earyer get his parents to tell him ???? anyways go on google and put in silent scream theres a video and stuff about abortion so you no exactly what it means. good luck let me no how you get on :) and dont be worrying
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeh i've just told him about 5 mins ago. it's quarter past eight and he just walked out and dint say nothing. don't know where he has gone. don't know if he's coming back. i'm a little upset but i know not to get stressed bcos i no it's not good for the baby.
...............................
A
female
reader, sexseahot +, writes (3 December 2008):
 I think you should tell him, but don't prolong it any longer since you are already 3 months pregnant. You're just about at that stage where you won't be able to do an abortion anymore since you're so far along if that is what you choose to do.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni'm not too late. my doctor sez you can have an abortion till 20 wks and i'm only 12. he's not very mature and he's like a big kid really. he grew up in a care home with no parents and he has a few friends but no family so i wanted to keep this abby so he does have family and we could build a proper one but i don't know whether he wud take it seriously? thank you JESS.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2008): Talk to your boyfriend about it. Thats the most important thing, don't do anything before you have spoken to him. I'm pretty sure its too late for an abortion anyway but I might be wrong.
Talk to your boyfriend, tell him you are pregnant and then discuss with him and your family what your next steps will be and if they will be there to support you.
Good luck hun, it sounds like you are being very brave about this.
...............................
A
female
reader, babewithbrains +, writes (3 December 2008):
Oh sweetie. You have to tell him, but you have to tell him that you're getting rid. You still have a life, and you can have as many children as you want when you've fallen in love and you know you're ready.
Please please please don't ruin your life and your reputation by having this baby - it won't have a great life. I hope your parents support you and help you through this.
I advise that you stop seeing your boyfriend and go out with someone younger and don't have sex until you are old ennough to except the consequences. I hope you have fun with your remaining childhood.
The baby won't make him grow up, it will scare him and he will (sorry, he MIGHT) bugger off and leave you to join the fast growing amount of single parents spread throughout the world. You can survive if you keep it, but I would wait until you are older.
Best of luck, PM me if you have any questions - I don't mind I'm a girl like you (I'm a bit younger but I grew up fast.)
Jelly
xxx
...............................
|
