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female
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**Baffled**
writes: I am 28 and in love with a 53 year old man! He feels the same about me. Is this age dirrerence too much?? I know that my family will ridicule this relationship. What do i do??? HELP!!! Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (19 July 2006):
 Didn't mean to offend, just have a *way with words* Ariel....lolx
A
female
reader, ariel + ♥, writes (19 July 2006):
 mmmm!! Agreed.xxx
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (19 July 2006):
It is a sort of scare tactic. Look at it this way, I have nursed a woman who had a massive CVA aged 30 and she had three young children. She is know trapped in a body, can't speak, can't see properly and cannot even feel her shildren's touch....she was young. It is heartbreaking. I have nursed many elderly people who have been split up because one has developed some sort of physical ailment or cognitive disfunction. It can happen to anyone, regardless of age.
I think maybe what I was trying to say was that if you love somebody, regardless of chronological age, and they make you feel happy then you need to grab at that happiness with both hands and hold on tight!! Don't stress about *what ifs* in the future as nobody can see the future.
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (19 July 2006):
It is a sort of scare tactic. Look at it this way, I have nursed a woman who had a massive CVA aged 30 and she had three young children. She is know trapped in a body, can't speak, can't see properly and cannot even feel her shildren's touch....she was young. It is heartbreaking. I have nursed many elderly people who have been split up because one has developed some sort of physical ailment or cognitive disfunction. It can happen to anyone, regardless of age.
I think maybe what I was trying to say was that if you love somebody, regardless of chronological age, and they make you feel happy then you need to grab at that happiness with both hands and hold on tight!! Don't stress about *what ifs* in the future as nobody can see the future.
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (19 July 2006):
It is a sort of scare tactic. Look at it this way, I have nursed a woman who had a massive CVA aged 30 and she had three young children. She is know trapped in a body, can't speak, can't see properly and cannot even feel her shildren's touch....she was young. It is heartbreaking. I have nursed many elderly people who have been split up because one has developed some sort of physical ailment or cognitive disfunction. It can happen to anyone, regardless of age.
I think maybe what I was trying to say was that if you love somebody, regardless of chronological age, and they make you feel happy then you need to grab at that happiness with both hands and hold on tight!! Don't stress about *what ifs* in the future as nobody can see the future.
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A
female
reader, ariel + ♥, writes (19 July 2006):
Baffled,I was not trying to use scare tactics as Willywombat put it. The dear old lady that lives in the home,I just saw the pain on her husbands face and felt for him .Its not to say its going to happen to you.
You only have one life to live ,live your life the way you wan't to.Its your right,who cares what other people think.Marry him and have lots of children.
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (19 July 2006):
Look, go with your gut feeling on this. Ignore what others say or think. This is your life and at the end of the day it will be you waking up next to him each day....nobody else.
As for the analogy of one partner being in a nursing home and the othe younger partner visiting this is a scare tactic. You don't know what is round the corner, so it could happen with a couple who are younger! Or you could get hit by a bus!
Enjoy your life the way you wnat to and make decisions absed on what your gut feeling tells you is right.
xxxs
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A
female
reader, ariel + ♥, writes (18 July 2006):
Its the old frail lady who lives in the old age home and her husband (who is younger than her)lives at their home and he visits her at the old age home. What is so confusing about that?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2006): Who is referred to in this sentence:
I work in an old age home and there is this old frail lady who lives in the home because she is forgetful,incontinent ect and he lives at home and visits her.Its so sad that they have to live the last years like that.
I'm confused!
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A
female
reader, Hot (Advice) +, writes (18 July 2006):
 I know a couple friends that have been out with guys much older then them. One girl is still with the guy who is 30 years older, they are very much in love and are planning to get married in the next year. Yea, practically speaking could be a problem, as he will die way before you, and you could end up on your own at 40. But a few years of happiness with someone YOU love very much (not your parents, it is your life after all) then that is better then spending time with someone who you don't love as much and are just going out with them for the sake of it. Obviously you have not planned to fall in love, no one does and no one can choose who they fall in love with. Best of luck to you, don't worry about what others may think, you know what you want, take care!! xx
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A
male
reader, Dr Pete + ♥, writes (18 July 2006):
 Baffled what's your gut feeling on this? Your gut feeling will tell you whether or not this relationship is right for you, and right for him.
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A
female
reader, ariel + ♥, writes (18 July 2006):
Mmmm Its a big age gap,but saying that you love him.My brother-in-law went out with a women the same age as his mother,he was the butt end of every joke.It did not last long, there relationship.You need to maybe ask yourself why you are attracted to a man so much older than you.
I work in an old age home and there is this old frail lady who lives in the home because she is forgetful,incontinent ect and he lives at home and visits her.Its so sad that they have to live the last years like that.
And then there is my mother-in-law who's husband is 25yrs older and she has had a string of affairs as he was not interested in sex.
You see there are those who can marry older people and have a fantastic life and those have and have regretted it,but for reasons don't want to end the relationship.Its up to you as your family and friends are not going to be living your life,you are.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2006): Hi, Yes its a big age gap but if your in love who cares! I had a relationship with a man who was 14 years older than me and it worked, ok so yours is slightly bigger, but if it works for you and your happy, age is nothing but a number! Yes your family will judge but only because they want whats best for you, it took my family ages to adjust and they soon to learnt to love him
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