A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Won’t somebody help me, please. I’m 16 and I’ve fallen in love with someone I’ve never met before, I’ve never even spoken to, and will probably never do so in my whole life. I think there is something wrong with me, all these feelings are bunged up inside and the only way I can let them out is writing this. I’ve been starting to feel extremely alone, even more so when I’m surrounded by people. I’m so depressed I can’t focus on anything like work or even hobbies because this is all I can think about. It’s completely ridiculous though, I’m not a very fanciful person but I can’t stop thinking about this. Although he’s 20, and lives in Surrey, whenever I see a picture of him or anything to do with him, I’m completely mesmorized I feeI completely in love. I feel though a sort of weird connection with this person, even though the chances of meeting him are almost none, the fact that there is a possibility is controlling my life and I’m getting lots of weird signs that I’m meant to meet him, be with him and that things arn’t all what they seem. I feel I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life if I don’t do something about it, but the thought of it makes me feel so stupid, I’m too afraid to tell people how and why I feel like this, I’m so consumed by this I just can’t seem to do anything. Should I do something, or acknowledge the fact that I will live the rest of my life alone, and that this is a completely stupid fantasy that my mind has made up to fill my empty heart?
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female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (31 March 2008):
 hey,
I can relate definitely. I've had a similar experience but you need to understand it is infatuation. I know i know, it sooo does not feel like infatuation but you dont know him. You dont know what he's like. He might be a total arsehole really.
I would love to help you figure this out though and see if we can come up with something together to make at least SOMETHING come out of it.
Ok, so, how do you know him? i'm thinking its through the internet? you could try saying hi to him. People are flattered by other peoples interest in them. Long distance can work if its the right people. I had a relationship once where I was living in Scotland and he was living in London and everyone said we were the most in love people they knew. I think its worth a shot but maybe need a bit more info so if you wanna pm me feel free.
and can i also just say, you should trust your instincts 100%. when you get that feeling that you just know something its probably right. and listen to those signs and feelings you get. its called a womans intuition. This is gonna sound crazy but I swear its a true story lol. When I was in school i was a geek. like really pig-ugly, nobody in my class would even know who the hell i was if you told them my name, i was a nobody. Then I went to my friends houseparty when i was 15 and there was this boy there who was friggin GORGEOUS! he was wayyy out of my league so i didnt even try. Didnt speak to him, just stayed away from him. But my "inner voice" (you know how you "hear" a voice when your thinking something?) said clear as anything "your gonna be with him one day, not now, but in a couple of years". I swear, i almost died laughing at what i'd just thought. he was HIM. I was....well, me. It just wasnt gonna happen.
Didnt see him again and I'd forgotten all about him, then two years later I'd grown into my looks and become better looking and a lot more sociable and less geeky lol. i was in the pub one night and he came in, we were introduced by a mutual friend and it was completely instant attraction on both our parts. We got together and he told me he loved me like 4 days later. The weirdest thing was the pub we met in was my local and he'd never been in it before that night, and he went in on his own. He told me he was driving past and even though he was alone, had never been in there before and didnt know if anyone he knew would be in there he just had this really overwhelming urge to go inside. Then he met me. pure fate. That still freaks me out thinking about how right I was at that party years ago. Scary stuff. So my point is you're a lot more intuitive than you realise and if you really think your seeing signs you should be with him (genuine signs lol not forced signs to make yourself believe it!) give it a go. you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Anyway, I do think this is a bigger deal in your heart because of your loneliness. You have built him up and your mind has convinced you that he is the one to take your loneliness away. I can relate to that. When i was in my gross geeky stage and convinced no man would ever feel anything other than disgust towards me (lol) I used to feel like you feel. And had major crushes on celebrities to the point where if i saw them with a girlfriend i'd feel sick with jealousy cos in my head i was convinced i should be with him. Sounds a bit psycho but it really is just your heart trying to do you a favour and ease some of the loneliness and pain by giving you the happy, safe feeling of being in love.
You wont end up alone. I promise. Try with this guy, introduce yourself, say hey and see what happens. If it doesnt work out, get out there and meet some other guys. I swear you will definitely meet someone amazing. Maybe this guy, maybe another guy.
gimme a pm if you wanna come up with a plan of action together lol
Brooke
xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2008): It is very easy to get mesrmerised by someone or the idea of someone and being with them, I must admit. Well, is it possible for you meet this guy or talk to him more? Why is it that you can't?
If you feel so strongly then you should try and see if he wants to meet up.
xx Hope xx
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