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I'm 15 and my boyfriend is 22. Soon I can move in with him...

Tagged as: Age differences, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 November 2005) 18 Answers - (Newest, 29 October 2010)
A female , anonymous writes:

I'm a 15 year old girl and my boyfriend is a 22 year old man. A lot of people give us problems because we are 7 years apart but the way I look it at, it doesn't matter how old you are, what really matters is the maturity level. We have been together for almost 8 months now and I really truly beleive I am in love with him. I know I'm only 15 but what we have is something I could never find myself having in the future or with anyone else.

I'm turning 16 soon and I've been wanting to get emancipated and move in with him. My question is do you think I'd be wrong in doing this? Should I wait it out till I'm older or try it for a month or two now?

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A female reader, shazza b United Kingdom +, writes (29 October 2010):

i am going threw the same thing i am 15 years old and my boyfriend is nearly 23.

my family dont agree with it and because i have stuck by my boyfriend threw all the agro we get my family are trying to get me to move out.

and yes at 16 you are legal to move out of your parents home but at 15 the police will just keep taking you back home.

i am 16 soon so could really do with finding me and my boyfriend a flat or something as he still lives with his mum.

hope i helped you a little bit and good luck in the future

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2008):

I am in the same kind of proublem as you. I'm 15 and my boyfriend is 20. I'm about to get emancipated and move in with him but the thing is that I dont no if it is really legal and no one will help me or give me answers. i just want to be with him and get away from my house my parents have tried to kice me out before and i was going but then they would not let me go. They always tell me to pack up my stuff and get out but when i go to do it they get mad and say that i cant leave or nothin then they just try and ground me. I have been through alot in my llife and im only 15 and just like u said I dont think it is the age its the maturity and also you kinda cant help how u love ... it just kinda happens...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2006):

I'm no exbert but this would be wrong. What if he doesn't really love you? what then? Ask him questions like "After i move in whats next for us?" YKou should raelly think this over!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2006):

i dont know exactly what your going through because i am 20 and you are 15 but i know how it feels to want to be with someone that much because i to want to move in with my boyfriend but i am scared that my parents will disown me and call the cops on me. the difference is that im over 18 and theres nothing they can really do. but they can stop paying for my college tuition, my car, and all the other things. and to tell you the truth im only working a little bit so i can finish college and graduate, but theres always something in the back of my mind telling me it will all be worth it when in with him. so if im ganna give you any advice its to look at all your options and make sure hes thee one and he feels the same about you because not all young couples relationships go the way we plan it will go

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2006):

i am in the same situation as you i am 16 and pregnant my boyfriend who is older then me wants me to move in with him, i think as long as you have got your family behind you go for because if it doesnt work out you no your family are always there to help you through with support and advice.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2005):

dude wut ever floatz ur boat...wut ever happenz...happenz life iz nothing with out taking riskz...just remember to be carful about wut ur doing...

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A female reader, LaLatina4Eva1 +, writes (10 December 2005):

HI! I THINK U AND I HAVE THE SAME SITUATION CAUSE I THOUGHT OF MOVING IN WITH MY BOYFRIEND AS SOON AS I TURN 16 BUT AT THE SAME TIME I DONT I GOTTA THINK ABOUT VERY GOOD .

THE ADVISE THAT I WOULD GIVE U IS THAT U SHOULD WAIT OR DO WHAT U R HEART SAYS TO DO. MAYBE U SHOULD WAIT TO BE VERY SURE ABOUT WHAT UR DOING ! BUT IN LOVE AGE DOESNT MATTER.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2005):

I am not some old person saying this actualy I am only 13 but are your parents crazy? How could they let you date someone sooooooo much older then you? AND MOVE IN WITH.

Personaly I think your parents are crazy. It is illegal for you to move in with him now and you would'nt be the one getting in trouble your boyfreind would be. If you think you realy L-O-V-E him then you would never think of putting him in risk of 13+ years in jail. Dont do it please.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2005):

Well girl, I can give you what I think you should do only on my own past experiences. But you are still gonna do what you wanna do. I was in a similiar situation I was 15 and my boyfriend was 23 and I wanted to move in with him and everybody gave us shit about our age difference. and i thought the same thing you do about the age difference. Well I moved in with him and yeah it was good for a while we lasted about a year and a half. But than we just grew apart. It was more like i grew apart, because at that age 15 16 17 18 19 you change so much. I mean I'm 23 now and i look back (and you will too) and think what the hell was i thinking.. its so weird because you know when your parents always say you're too young or you don't know anything..(but you really think you do)... Let me tell you girl, they are so right.. you will see in 6 years...

Well I wish you luck in what ever you decide

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2005):

i am 14 and i have already thought about this myself only my boyfriend cheated on me before i even moved in. id wait until you leave school and if your both still into it id move in then.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2005):

lol, "but what we have is something I could never find myself having in the future or with anyone else.", how do you know that? Its likely (if you go ahead with it) go tits up and later down the road you will be in a better situation, you think this is the best because you know no different i.e. up until now nothing has been ne better.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (5 November 2005):

eyeswideopen agony auntWait until you are older.

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A female reader, beenthere +, writes (4 November 2005):

The age gap isn't really that much. I'm 25, my bf is 29. There are 8 years between my mum and dad and 20 years between my bf's mum and dad(my bf was born when his mum was only about 16) but 8 months isn't very long in any relationship, however old you are. I thought, after 2 years of being with someone that i loved him. we had a child and moved in together. we were 19 at the time. we split 2 years later but now i've just moved in with my bf after being with him for 2 years. I'd leave it that long at least to make sure it's what you want. it's easier to wait than it is to move in and out again. in your case, i'd wait until you're 18 at least. do you stay at his anyway? you should move in gradually so you both know how things will be. i know from experience that men can and will change once you live with them, not usually for the better. go for it when you know you're ready but be careful

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A female reader, sweet16 +, writes (4 November 2005):

hey there...i wrote a little earlier

You are only 15, how do you know that this relationship is the best and the only one that could possibly be the best for you.

Have you dated anyone else? I mean, seriously dated. IF you haven't you wouldn't know. You need to be able to get out and explore all that life has to offer and not just settle this early on and watch these wonderful high school and college years waste away.

Emancipation is not the answer because people our age just don't have the means to support themselves. You need to have a high school education and a college education. YOu don't have a choice anymore unless you want to be flipping burgers for the rest of your life at McDonalds. I was thinking about emancipation, and i decided that I couldn't support myself and I could deal with all the other stuff that I had going on and now I am at a boarding school doing great. It just takes time and careful thought.

The friend that I was telling you about is stupid. She made some bad choices and now has a screwed up life. Make sure you know all your options and can make the right decisions before you go and make a life changing choice.

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A female reader, Rommana +, writes (4 November 2005):

Darling your 15 yrs of age, i don't want to sound like i'm patronising your relationship and if you say you love him then afair enough.But i'm 26 yrs of age now and have lived with my boyfriend for almost 6 yrs and it's hard, you have to accept all their faults,learn to compromise,pay bills and most importantly be responsible.I'm not saying don't move in with him thats entirely up to you you live and learn afterall but it isn't all love and fun even in a great relationship. 8 mths isn't a long time i was still finding things about my man even after 3 yrs but thats the fun about relationships.Just think about it,enjoy your youth and don't be in such a hurry to grow up!! your childhood is such a precious thing ,live a little first and good luck whatever you choose xx

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A female reader, sweet16 +, writes (4 November 2005):

I am 16...almost 17 YAY!... a former friend of mine is dating a man who is 30...she is 16 also. He has been arrested for several things and is not one of the smartest people out there. THey have been dating since she was 14. They have been caught and have been threatened but my friend is still planning on being with him officially when she is 18.

Emancipation means you will have to provide for yourself. That is never a good situation. Do you have a high school diploma? Do you have a job? Can you get a job at your age that will pay enough for you to support yourself and your significant other?

Are you ready to grow up this fast?

THe next thing is are you having sex with your boyfriend? if you aren't, then you know that he isn't out to just get some from you. If he is truly comitted to you he will wait for you and if you are truly comitted to him you will wait for him. Your relationship right now is illegal. Plain and simple. If you are sleeping with each other, he could be charged with statutory rape and get up to 13 years in jail....i will post more later, but i hope that you will consider these things in the mean time and really evaluate your situation.

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A female reader, whatever +, writes (4 November 2005):

I really don't think it sounds like you need to rush anything. If you truly love each other, you'll still be together for a long time and who's to say you can't move in together in 2 or 3 years time? The thing is, he's already experienced complete adolescence- you haven't. Don't try to grow up too quickly, you'll miss out on the small, relevant things every other teenager will get to have.

It's important to maintain a good relationship with your family and friends also, they're the ones who'll be there for you always.

Moving in together is a huge step. You may not realise what you're getting into till it's too late. Eight months together is really not that long to make such a huge decision, whether you're 15 or 50. I know people who have been together for longer than that and don't live together. And I know plenty of people who have been together, thought they were in love but ended up breaking up after a year or two. You can never predict the future so you need to be 100% certain of such vital decisions, and try to have the support of the ones who love you.

My ultimate advice is to wait it out and don't let your boyfriend put any pressure on you. Time is of the essence. Good luck!

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A female reader, adastra +, writes (4 November 2005):

i don't know where you are, but i live in britiain so things maybe slightly different for you. How soon are you 16, and who are the people giving you problems? if you can wait for a few months, and at 16 you do decide to move in, at least do so with an opening for somewhere you can return to if things don't work out. By moving in now, you may cause more friction amongst your family, especially if you apply for emancipation. Do your parents like/approve of him as a person?

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