A
female
age
26-29,
*earsdontfall
writes:I've been chatting to my mates old boy mate online for a while now, we've met a few times but the last time we met he suggested we went back to his to watch a few movies. I wasn't alone it was me and my mate with him and his mate. When we got to his we went to his room and started watchin a movie. At one point it was just me and him alone cas the other two had gone to the ship just uo the road. We started making out and his hand started to go down my pants. I immediatly pulled them out and we carried on kissing. He then did it agen but quiker and started to finger me. He knew i didn't want him to so how do i tell him that i want to take our relationship alot slower ? ( btw im only 13 and hes 14 )
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female
reader, Dee206-7  +, writes (23 June 2009):
 You are a kid!!!!! Enjoy it, get active in some kind of sports, prepare for college. Please!!!!! Don't even think about boys at all right now. They are a terrible distraction, you will have more fun when you graduate from college, have your own money, calling your own shots. If you don't take my advice, you with get older with many failed relationships under your belt. Lower self esteem, no education and you will find yourself having to sleep with some loser just to pay your light bill. Do you want to end up like that?????? I should hope not! Let me let you in on a little secret. Boys ain't going nowhere, trust me on this one, they will still exist when you graduate from college. Then you can have a better pick. You will deal with who you want because you want to not because you need to. Got it? Good.
A
female
reader, ladydela +, writes (23 June 2009):
 you need to tell him how you feel about taking things slwoer and if he doesnt want to you should break up with and you need to do it very soon before he starts getting the wrong picture
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A
female
reader, Aunty Ashlee +, writes (22 June 2009):
okay, no matter what anyone sais
its reality yeah.
the boy probably likes you no matter where he puts his finger
and you probably like him,
but if you dont want him to do anything else and dont wanna be embaressed,
then move his hand every time,
just stop him every time.
if he asks you to do it,
say no.
if he likes you hell stick by you
and if he seems angry or upset,
he'll either be worth chucking,
or he just might feel rejected,
if you were older, youd probably feel more confident talking to him.. am i right?
but its probably best if your serious about him that you do,
dont tell him you dont ever want to do anything unless thats the case
just tell him that you will make it clear when you wanna do something with him,
if he waits then neither you or him will regret it,
but honestly,
if he keeps trying it, and dosent take any notice of you,
confront him HARSH.
because no boy is worth doing what you dont want to do
if he waits for you.. then good.
hes probably a horny boy though, so dont go swearing at him or anything
buttttt
do what YOU want, and if he is a prick about it, chuck him.
and dont get upset about it cuz if youve got him after you youll surely get other boys :)
xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): You should just explain to him about the things you feel uncomfortable about. If this guy is decent and does like you, he should understand what you're saying and hopefully won't try anything again.
Don't let any guy do anything you don't want to, and if he does try something after you've told him you don't want to, then just don't stay with him.
I know you've probably heard it before but remember to practise safe sex, use a condom if you're going to have intercourse, but it is actually illegal to do so until you're 16 and you should never do anything until you're ready. Best Of Luck x
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A
female
reader, missy e  +, writes (22 June 2009):
 my dear the guy should know u are very young and its better if you take your time and you guys have just met. at 13 you shouldnt be thinking of making love, and i know one thing leads to the other,today he will be fingering u tommorrow u guys are making love.i know u didnt mention whether u are a virgin or not but i can assume you are, so my advise to you is keep that precious thing, believe me you dont want to loose it now.tell the guy what u want and what makes you happy and if he loves you he will understand.communications in relationship is a key to a happy relationship,that one i know for sure. hopes it works for you too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): This boy only wants you for sex. You met a few times and his hand already down your pants? Your only 13 years old, do not see this boy again and just go out and have fun with your friends, study!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): In my point of view, that should not be happening. 14is a much too young age to start touching you in places like that. It's always alright to say NO. I think that you should just take him to somewhere very public such as the park or beach and just talk. At first obviously you'll be scared. Being scared to say something to your lover will always come repedetly in your life. Just take all the time you need and you're allowed to cry. Remember, there are no rules to love. If this gets too serious tell an adult that you really trust. It will be embarassing but if you keep it in, it'll stay there forever and the problem will grow and grow until you explode and you end up telling the truth after years. So, say no, talk to him and if you feel uncomfortable, keep talking!
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A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (22 June 2009):
 Given that this happened the first time you met and that he persisted even after you made it clear you did not want him to do it I suggest you talk to him about what happened, tell him you didn't want to go that far. Explain that if he cared about you he will go at the pace that you feel comfortable with and if he doesn't like that or tries again then you definately know he doesn't care about you..so you can then move on and find someone who respects and likes you for who you are and not for what he can get. By the way someone who does this with no consideration for you may also be telling his friends about it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): this boy had no right to do somthing that you implied you wernt comftable with. Tell this boy that what he did wasnt fair you pulled his hand away and that you want to go slower however if he carrys on doing things you rnt comftable with ditch him!.. he obviously has no respect for you and therefore doesnt deserve you. remember your only 13 hes older than you and shouldnt be presuring you into anything. Remeberto respect yourself or nobody else will. Good luck babes x
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (22 June 2009):
 just tell him look i'm not ready for this kind of thing i really like you and want to be with you and if you want to be with me then take it slower.
but to me seems like he just wants you for one thing hun. i mean he's already fingered you without your permission be careful he doesn't get forceful!!!
if he isn't willing to wait then he isn't the one for you AT ALL and you will find someone better who WILL wait for you to be ready :)
Hope this helps sweety. x x x x
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