| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid,I'm 18 and am currently in my first relationship. We have been going out for 6 months and I love him loads.Trouble is, he's in the army and in that 6 months I've only seen him for a month. I speak to him reguarly and we text each other every day, but I have cheated on him a few times which I feel guilty about, but I don't want to ruin the relationship. He is leaving to go to Iraq shortly and I don't want the relationship to end but I'm worried due to previous actions. I think I would be crushed if lost him, but I want to go out and have fun too.I don't know what to do.
View related questions:
crush, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (21 January 2006):
 Sorry, but if you really loved him "loads", you wouldn't have cheated on him "a few times" in a six-month period.
If you can't control your desires for such a short period as a half a year, you're don't really care much about this guy at all. Think about how you'd feel if the shoe was on the other foot, and he admitted he'd had sex with a couple of other girls in the last six months... but then tried to convince you that he really --actually-- loves you. Would you buy that? I wouldn't. I'd say he was selfish and egocentric, and unfortunately, that's how you're acting too.
The kindest thing to do is to break off with this man before he develops any deeper feelings for you. Guys in battlefield situations where their lives are endangered can tend to idolise the relationships with their significant others, and it's not fair to let him think you're back home, being the devoted girlfriend, if you're actually planning on going out and dating other guys while he's gone.
Better for everyone if you accept that you're not ready to settle for just one guy at this time in your life, and let him move on to find a girl who is.
|
