| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: I'm only right out of high school, so bear with the question. I was in a relationship recently, which went very well. There was only one problem, the girl's parents. They hated me, and due to this ended up tearing her apart until she finally decided it was best to break up because she had a close relationship with them. Well she goes to college in a year (she's a year younger than I), and although I hate the situation I understand there is little to nothing I can do for at least a year. Now we may be very young compared to others but we really do love each other, a lot. She is starting to feel that there is no hope for us, because her parents will never agree. I believe that we should have this year to be free and try other things, but stay close in touch, and next year give it a chance again because she will become far more independant and we can have freedom to have a relationship. I was wondering if my hope for a relationship in a year is too far fetched? Has this happened? And can it happen? Or must I deal with this and move on to other girls?
View related questions:
move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (9 August 2006):
 Hi dearie,
I think u have a really tough one on your hands here and i empathize with u.The best thing to do is to have a talk with her and find out how she feels about what u have decided.Get to know if she is still willing to go on with the relationship. If she isnt willing to and feels it wouldnt work it will be best to move on whether her decision is being influenced by her parents or not.
I hope everything works out for you. Take care and all the best.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2006): Hi, this exact scenario happened with me and my boyfriend and he was in your position. The best way to go about it is to keep in touch as much as possible and see eachother where possible, a year really isn't that long to wait for someone you want. I got through it ok, just concentrating on college and his phone calls, then next year, she's all your's. for some reason after my boyand me gave it that year, my parents actually began to like him because he'd waited which proved he loved me. please wait for her. hope this helps x
...............................
A
female
reader, peachykeen +, writes (9 August 2006):
Anything is possible. You are young, but I don't want to give you the usual standard of "there are other fish in the sea", but given time, it may come to that. Have you both agreed to do this? Just know that if you want to pursue this, you both have to be willing to make it work.
If her parents hate you now, is there anything that will change that? Are you willing to put your girl through the stress of hiding what she has with you from them?
Why did they hate you, by the way? Is this feeling toward you something that could change?
It is possible to stay close through the next year, but one of you may "grow" into other relationships...or, you may try to date others and see that this relationship is the one you want. There are many possibilities, just try not to force a relationship, to make it seem more real than it actually is.
I wish you the best of luck, I know this can't be an easy situation. It makes it more difficult when parents have negative feelings about it. Always be honest and take things as they come, try not to be discouraged if it doesn't go the way you want it to - you may end up with a close life-long friend, even if the romance is not possible.
...............................
|
