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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi, I really need some advice. Recently my bf of 2 years was treating me badly and got me so upset I had to walk out on him in an argument. It's strange for him because he was so nice and good to me usually. I didn't hear from him in a while and when he finally got in touch he said he felt so ashamed of what he put me through and that he can't keep seeing me so upset and said he needs to sort himself out, so he broke up with me. He said he still loved me and I still love him but I think he definitely needs some time to himself, cuz he's obviously going through something. I started a new job and didn't want him to screw my head up whilst I start so I agreed about splitting up and we're keeping in touch. I don't think this is a permanent thing; however it's only been under a week and I'm desperately missing him and want to get in contact already. Should I get in contact so soon? He hasn't contacted me and I don't want him to think I'm trying to get back with him so quickly and push him away for good, but I dont know how long I should leave it. Anyone have any advice? I'm very confused. Thanks
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female
reader, Tsukijin +, writes (9 August 2006):
 Hi. First of all, when a lad asks for space, he really needs it. its not often that they say this. my boyf has had an argument and hit me once before and he is usually such a nice guy, it was obvious it was not his usual personality so we split while he sorted himself out. doing this allowed him to breathe, but i had to call to say hi and ask how things were going with him - a no pressure conversation like, and within a couple of weeks we were back together and doing great - you can do the same, give him his space, you can call him once or twice, but try not to mention the relationship at this point. when he's had his fill of his own space, he'll come back. 2 years is a long time.
A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (9 August 2006):
 Hi there,
I think u did a great job and handled everything the right way . For me personally since he did indicate that he needed some time to sort out himself i think it is best to give him time. If not u might relive the whole problem u had with him that made u walk out.I promise u that he will call u if he really does love u. Even my ex-boyfriend still calls me to try and see if he can work on things despite the fact i have told him i have moved on. They always do call back except they dont care or love u and it is best in that case to let it go.
I know that u do miss him and it is hard but i wouldnt advise u to be the one to call. I know perhaps u wanted to hear different but it is for the best really.He was the one that ended the relationship and suggested that he needed space not you so you shouldnt feel in any way responsible or that u pushed him away. You cant possibly have stayed in something that was making u unhappy so u did a good thing by walking out when u couldnt take it.
In the meantime get yourself in thing like a new hobby or charity work to find a new purpose in life. Go out and have fun, keep yourself busy.
Goodluck dear. Kelly.
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A
female
reader, peachykeen +, writes (9 August 2006):
It sounds like there is more going on on his end than he's letting you know. What do your "gut instincts" tell you? If he is pushing you away, the last thing you should do is push yourself on him in any way. He has made up his mind about what he is going to do, just doesn't know how to tell you the whole truth. Don't set yourself up to be hurt and make it worse...
Take this time for yourself, don't worry day and night about him - start a new hobby to occupy your time, spend girl's night out, and do things that you like to do.
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