A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Office related question.If somebody come across as a flirtatious person, would she be considered a slag in an office environment even though she always dresses appropriately?The scenario is something like this...there is this man I really like in my office and i think he likes me too. Lets call him Mr A and there is this another guy Mr B who is a friend or an acquaintance of Mr A (the man i like).I was streching one day at my desk and was smiling to myself when this Mr B came out of his office and saw me smiling and may have miscontrued that I was smiling at him(I wasnt). Since then Mr B has been smiling a lot to me and get nervous around me and I noticed that there was a phase when Mr A ignored me for a little while (which could be entirely for a different reasons I dont know). Now my worry is did Mr B say something to MR A that I was hitting on him or something...even though I wasnt? Does smiling at someone in an office environment only means flirting? I wont deny that sometimes I can come across as a teaser. Would that make me a slag? When do women get termed as slag?Please help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): I am the original posterThanks guys (toasty, rythmblues2, collaroy) for your replies it really made me feel much better. I must have read too much into this..i guess I am new to the country and I am not so good at reading signals with men here yet. I certainly dont want to give wrong signals to anyone especially if I am not interested. Rythmandblues2, you are right I should keep it stricly professional as one of them is my superior but I am crazy about him like anything ....oh well never mind.Just to be safe though...how would I know a man is flirting with me??
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (3 March 2008):
 Hi there,
oh dear you really are reading too much into this. Maybe Mr B told Mr A that he was into you and is going to make a move. With guys this usually means you hold off as you dont want to appear to other guys that you are stealing their dates.
So dont worry about it. One way is to discreetly find a way to let Mr B know that you fancy Mr A. He will go off you and you might just find Mr A getting keen again.
Of course if you have courage and Mr A is a nice guy, then simply ask him what he's doing at lunch or would he like to go see a movie or something.
It's the 21st century ,stop using terms like "slag" they are for male mysogynist readers of "The Sun" who group all non virginal women into the same basket . These are the people who call a guy a stud if he sleeps around but a girl is a slut or slag.
good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2008): I don't think smiling at someone means you are a flirt, it would be your overall demeanor with men, if you smile and flip your hair and laugh at all their not so funny jokes, you are flirting, but as long as it remains harmless it is just harmless...I wouldn't worry about being called the office slag, unless you decide to hook up with Mr A and or Mr B, as office romances especially ones where you all work together can be bad if it doesn't work out or if the guy wasn't as nice as you thought and he uses you or hurts you, then there is all the gossip, and them there is you looking for another job....so those are the kinds of questions you should be asking yourself, Job or flirting with either of these men.....my advice keep it professional especially if either of these men are your superiors, now if they aren't and do not work in your same department, it might be worth the risk....a lot of people meet like that at work and sometimes it grows into a romance and sometimes it doesn't then you have to watch your love interest possible dating someone else at work which isn't too pleasant....as I have lived to tell you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2008): You certainly did nothing wrong. He simply seems to have caught you at the wrong moment. As long as he doesn't try to flirt with you in reciprocation to what he thought you did, everything should be alright. Just brush your should off, babe. Play it cool. Very nonchalant.
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