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If she's attractive, will you lose your control when drunk?

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Question - (14 December 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 25 December 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Guys,if you always find a female friend of yours attractive and you're sexually attracted to her,will you lose your control when you get drunk or tipsy? Will you act on your sexual feelings for her?Do you try to avoid drinking in front of her?

Please share your experience. Thanks :-)

It was my farewell party last night.I dressed up and I took some photos.A guy friend of mine was flirty and touchy-freely when he got a bit drunk/tipsy last night. We were alone in the kitchen after the farewell party. He kept winding me up and bitching about the face of my love interest! He was so annoying because he kept telling me that my love interest was SO UGLY! When I reacted,he kept laughing! He asked me whether my love interest had hugged me before. I said 'yes'. Then he asked me whether my love interest hugged me that often and whether I felt happy when my love interest was hugging me. I said 'yes,of course'. Then he asked me,"then can I hug you?" I said "yes" because I expected that it was just a friendly hug and the hug from in front. To my surprise,he walked up behind me and put his arms around my neck and my shoulder! Actually it was our first hug....Then,he kept winding me up by putting my bedroom key into the freezer,then into my sauce pan(I was boiling food atm).He also poured loads of vodka that he was drinking into the food which I was cooking!When I reacted,he laughed!!Then,he suddenly came up to me again and hugged me.The hug was from in front this time. Then,he winded me up again and he stroked my hair slowly and gently from the top to the bottom!He also gently and slowly touched my forearms with his arms.Then he hugged me again!This is so weird!The next day,he phoned me and he told me that he had just uploaded my photos (which I had taken in my farewell party) on his facebook photo album. He also named the photo album "xxx (my name)".Then I went to his facebook. I found that he seldom uploads photos because he has only 3 photo albums (including my photos) on his facebook.The other 2 photo albums are his high school graduation ceremony and his childhood photos.

He's quite normal and friendly when he's sober.Well...I have known him for 8 months.We are friends but not close.We see each other once a month and it's always in a group.

What happened to him?!Does he like me?Or it's just a passing attraction?Once my best friend found him kept staring at me...

View related questions: best friend, drunk, facebook, flirt

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

To Cerberus,

By the way,why do you think it's not normal for him to phone me and upload my photos on his facebook?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

To Cerberus,

Thank you very much for your reply:-)

You think he likes me,but in what way? Romantically or only sexually?Or he just wants to get my attention?The next day after he got drunk,a close friend of mine asked him whether he liked me or not(I wasn't there of course).He said,"no,she's just a nice friend.I don't like her coz she's weird and noisy".

"I only ever did the "your boyfriend/love interest is so ugly" with girls I definitely couldn't have and it was a sign of jealousy on my part."---How about if you genuinely thought that their boyfriend/love interest/crush was really ugly? The fact that you were jealous doesn't mean that you were in love with the girl.You probably just wanted to get the girl's attention.You might think that you were way better than her boyfriend/love interest/crush,right?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010):

While Gabriel is correct about being drunk, he wasn't drunk when he posted the pics of that night xxx your name and rang you to tell you about them.

So even when he's sober he acts 12.

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (14 December 2010):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntIt's a well-known fact that, when sufficient alcohol is applied, certain men will revert to their 12-year old avatars. The presence of an attractive woman serves as a catalyst to speed up the reaction.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010):

Yeah he likes you, and yeah he's about 12 years old too.

I've done the flirty, huggy, touchy feely thing and even done the "I'm not as ugly as the guy you like" thing. But the rest is insanely childish (actually calling someones love interest ugly is too).

You remember when you were in primary/elementary school? Where the kids would push and hit the kids of the opposite sex that they fancied. Well yeah that's basically what he's doing. The guy has the emotional maturity of a 12 year old.

Now you'll either find that really cute and endearing or think this guy is pathetic but that's for you to decide. I've seen girls go both ways but the cuteness usually wears off when they realize that the emotional immaturity/insecurity doesn't.

He's basically trying to test the waters and see if you're interested but in the most childish way possible, perhaps he's painfully shy, if not he's just painfully insecure. I only ever did the "your boyfriend/love interest is so ugly" with girls I definitely couldn't have and it was a sign of jealousy on my part. But I'd already established my chances were zero by either asking them out or knowing they had a loving relationship already, girls that really fancied someone else where not a problem for me, because I always felt I could change that by just playing my cards right but not by pussy footing around, whereas this guy has a chance he just believes he doesn't and wants you to make all the moves.

If you're interested then basically you'll have to let him know because unless he gets some concrete indication he's not going to do anything about it. But basically he was just signalling his intentions.

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