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If she really does love me surely she would be telling me more often?

Tagged as: Big Questions, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 September 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 28 September 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

i told my girlfriend i loved her a couple of nights ago in bed. She replyed " do you? I love you 2".

she said she had been thinking it for a while. i was thinking maybe it was too early to tell her as wev only been together about a month and a half, but ive been friends with her for about 6 years. for some reason when she said it back i couldnt help feel that she only said it because she felt maybe she had2. i told her again while making love and she said it again.

anyway, i havent told her again just to see if she would tell me first but she hasnt. I dont know if im being stupid but does this mean anything?

when i was with my ex who i was with for 4 years, we both were dying to tell eachother and after we said it the first we would tell eachother all the time. I feel maybe i should have waited to tell her or summin

I know her feelings for me are strong because we both risk losing a lot of friends and things by being together (its complicated) and she talks about being together in the future. Am I being daft or if she really did love me would she be telling me. it has only been a couple of days but still.

View related questions: I love you, my ex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009):

Risk of losing friends is not a good reason to stay together.

What is normal behavior for one person is not for another. She is not your former girlfriend, so don't expect her to be.

I would like to point out that saying I love you can have many different meanings. Love might mean friendship, passion, obsession, casual, marital, commitment. How did you mean your love statement? How do you think she meant hers?

It is apparent that you don't think hers had the depth of your statement. If you feel that, it probably wasn't. IE what you believe is reality to you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009):

Please grow up a little. Just because your ex and you had a game of who could say it most times, doesnt mean everyone's eager to do that. If you really love this girl it wont matter to you whether she loves you back or not. Love is not dependent on the other person loving you back. And yes: its only been a couple of days! Grow out of your insecurities and give her some credit. Do you love her? Really? I think you're just saying that to her so you can get attention. If you really love her, when she said it back it should be one of the happiest moments of your life, not a disappointment because you think she might not have meant it.

In all likelihood: she loves you! Trust her on that! You did say it very early, and if you were that afraid she might have said it back because you said it: ask her? Or you could have told her "I love you, and I know its early to say it, so dont feel any pressure to say it back, I just wanted to let you know how I truly feel"

She probably thinks it's early and is afraid to break the magic by overuse of the word "love". Its a precious word that shouldn't be thrown around just to make you happy.

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