A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I have a few questions about guys' sexual preferences.Background : we have a loving relationship and a fantastic sex life. He makes me orgasm 90% of the time through penetration alone otherwise he'll finish me off with his fingers. He's an all round gentleman and makes me a very happy girl.But I do have a few questions. When we met, he was a virgin (I wasn't) so he was learning everything as we went along. He didn't enjoy blowjobs at first.He's circumcised - is that a factor? But he appears to love them now. He says they are intense and he looks like he enjoys them. However he rarely asks for them? It turns me on to oblige so that can't be why he doesn't ask. I mean, I thought guys loved that stuff... Also, he doesn't like the cowgirl position very much. In fact, if I'm on top he sometimes goes flaccid. What gives? I believe he finds me sexy so that's not the problem. Could it be because I'm not tight enough to pleasure him when I'm on top? Again, I thought guys liked a girl to take the reins occasionally but he doesn't seem to enjoy being passive. I myself have never been confident being on top, and if i'm honest I don't really like it that much but I only do it to mix things up. Could it be that my lack of enjoyment makes it less pleasurable for him too? I don't know what to think because he's never been with anyone else so he can't exactly compare.As I said, they're not really problems and I'm very satisfied sexually. We both like missionary the most. But I just want to know if it is the case that other guys don't like the cowgirl position or ask for blow jobs often too. I just want to know that I'm not neglecting him so I can polish up on my skills to make him enjoy it as much as possible if he's missing out! I asked him to rate his sexual satisfaction and he said 9 and half out of 10 so he doesn't have any worries. I just want to keep my baby as happy and excited as he makes me.Thanks for your responses :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question janniepeg
Thanks for your response. You might have me mixed up with someone else but I haven't posted about this before :)
'Sounds like you are both pleasers. If you have this deep desire to please then a dominant guy would be for you, in bed.'
This sounds about right. And he likes to be dominant so that suits me just fine!
'To expect perfection in everything is a bit unrealistic.'
I think you've hit the nail on the head there as well. I'll try to sit back, relax and enjoy.
C. Grant
Thanks for your insight and encouragement. I guess there's no one size fits all! I'll stop reading Cosmopolitan's list of how to please your man and just get on with what the two of us like.
male reader, anonymous
Thank you too for a great response!
'Needless to say I don't try to initiate it myself because it doesn't feel good [asking her to do what she's not a big fan of].'
I think he might feel the same way too. He's quite a gentleman and I guess the idea of asking me to go down on him might be difficult for him. I guess I'll take more initiative, because I know he really likes it.
'Don't worry about your bf going flaccid during cowgirl. It's just because you're doing it at your own pace and the angle is more suitable for you than him (which is the point).'
This is genuinely one of those eureka moments for me. It's more for me than it is for him?! Well I never. :-) I don't really enjoy it much so that's going straight out the window! I thought it was more for the man. Oh dear.
'Then go back to what you like.' - This is as good advice as any. Why fix it if it's not broken?
Thanks again everyone for great advice. Much appreciated.
Take care!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2013): The guy with the correct answers is your boyfriend. All we can do is guess.
Generally guys love oral IF the girl is happy giving it. My wife doesn't like it much but she initiates it to please me. Needless to say I don't try to initiate it myself because it doesn't feel good.
OR, maybe he just prefers the vagina better?
Or, maybe he's not comfortable enough to ask?
And no, being circumcised has nothing to do with it. unless your teeth touch the tip of his penis, which is a very sensitive area.
Don't worry about your bf going flaccid during cowgirl. It's just because you're doing it at your own pace and the angle is more suitable for you than him (which is the point). Just change your pace and angle once in a while to keep him hard. Then go back to what you like.
I don't go flaccid during cowgirl but I won't be able o orgasm either. And I don't mind, because that position is all about the lady and her pleasure. I have learned to touch her breasts and butt to maintain my erection.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (28 April 2013):
 "I just want to keep my baby as happy and excited as he makes me." Good for you -- you really can't go wrong with that attitude.
There isn't any such thing as "guys' sexual preferences" unless you want four billion itemized lists. Everyone's different on some level. Same with gals. Read any question on oral sex -- you'll see a range of answers from women from "it's a must have" through "meh, doesn't do much for me" to the occasional "no way". Jannipeg's right -- it ain't broken so don't sweat it.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (27 April 2013):
 Some people are pleasers. It's deep in their personality and it's not something you can reason. I know a lot of women love cunnilingus, can't go without, and I am not one of those women. I prefer giving oral sex. I would enjoy a man going down on me but I won't ask for it. I remember you asking the same question. I would just suggest you to take him as he is and not worry what pleasure he's not receiving. Sounds like you are both pleasers. If you have this deep desire to please then a dominant guy would be for you, in bed. Your relationship is great so accept it and don't make a problem that your sexual experience has not reached its full pinnacle. When you are in love, sex is good whatever position it is but you still have a strong preference of one thing to another. To expect perfection in everything is a bit unrealistic. If I were your boyfriend and you ask me what you need to polish on it will be your confidence and being at ease, relaxed and carefree with everything.
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