A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing a younger man for the past couple of months and we have fallen in love. We both feel like we've known each other in another life. Everything just happened so quickly. Problem is I found out the he is married and has a newborn daughter. When I confronted him he said that he wasn't in love with his wife and he only got married for his daughter. Even though my head told me to end it my heart couldn't. So I continued to see him. He's in the military and practically lived with me for those 2 months. I would drive him to work and pick him up every day. Even my kids liked him and believe me they don't like anybody. His wife is back home. Now he is in Iraq and being away from him allowed me to think clearer and realize that if I can't have his whole heart then I don't want any part of it. I can't be second. I deserve better. If he truly loves me he will choose me right? Question is do I tell him that I can't do this any more while he is in Iraq? Shouldn't I be there to support him and not give him added stress to think about while he's putting his life on the line and fighting for our country? Or is that his wife's job to give him that support? Or should I just continue communicating with him and tell him when he comes back? I don't want to hurt him when he's so far away. Especially being that he's at war. He calls me every other day. Help what's the best way to handle this situation for the both of us?Y
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female
reader, Serenity1 +, writes (20 November 2008):
 seeing that your older, I would continue to support him, because you are right he doesn't need the added stress. my husband is in the military also and when he was over seas all he wanted to talk about was positive things and things that didn't show any opposition, because he was already getting an abundance of that fighting the war.look at it this way you will probably be able to nurture and comfort him in ways that his wife can't. let him experience that before you hall off and give him an ultimatum. i think giving him an ultimatum at this point in his life would be very selfish of you, because physically he's not with you or her at this point. trust me you will be able to know real quick which one of you he chooses when he returns. and if you think that you shouldn't support him because he might not choose you, then you need to check your own personal morals, because that's very selfish. just support him because that's what you want to do not because you are expecting anything in return. the fact of the matter is you knew what was up as far as his marital status is concerned from the get go.
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