A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Quick question how can you tell if a lad has feelings for you? Like if he's already your friend, well not close friend or anything but still. Of he's not the flirty type or anything. infact if he's really quiet? So how would you be able to tell if he has feelings for you? And if he a really nice guy in general how can you tell if they are feelings or if thats just the way he is in general?Also i know if you catch a guy staring at you its one thing but how can you tel if theres a big distance between you such as he's on the other side of the room, whether he's looking at you or just in that direction?Also considering what the lad is like surely if he liked someone wouldn't he ask for their phone number since he has everyone elses in the group and if he talks to the others really well wouldn't he try and talk o the girl he liked or sit next to her instead of more or less doing anything but sit next to her. One way its a if he likes me but then thinking about it its as if he doesn't like me at all!! (By the way please understand i can't ask him outright, i won't go into that but it is not an option)
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male
reader, mustaine6 +, writes (29 June 2008):
I give you one magical word...MSN.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008): Quoting the anon woman: “Let me save you years of wondering, guessing, worrying and trying to figure out a "strong silent type".....Run, don't walk as far as you can in the opposite direction. When I was your age, I fell hard for a guy who was very quiet. I thought he'd eventually come out of his shell. Newsflash, he didn't! 15 years later, I'm still doing all the talking, communicating, sharing and he is still in his shell never uttering more than 3 words in a day. It's the worst mistake I've ever made and because he's good to me, and we have a nice home, nice cars blah, blah, blah, I've stayed with him, though I am totally emotionall STARVED. If you are a social gal, stay away from introverted shells. You will never know what's going on in the relationship because they will never tell you and you will always wonder if they're mad, or sad, or worried, or happy because again, they will never tell you a thing! I wish someone would've slapped me up-side my head years ago so I could've met someone who's like me, a bit of a talker who enjoys having true intimacy with someone. I feel emotionall cold towards him now and want out! Trust me men who talk are so much better in relationships.”
Don’t listen to this pile of crap. This woman obviously had a bad experience with a shy guy and her experience is not the normal one. My wife had 11 boyfriends after her divorce and the 2 who she liked the best and who were the best to her were the ones who were initially shy. I was one of them and have always been shy at first, especially with women who I might have a relationship interest in. Both the other guy and me opened up easily after the first date and now my wife has a problem shutting me up. I was this way with all women who I dated. We were all in our early 30s at the time and I am still shy at first when meeting new people. My wife and I discuss all of our concerns and she says that no one ever kept her laughing like I have for 29 years. The woman who wrote the above can only blame her problem on herself. She should have been able to tell very early in the relationship that this was going to be a problem. If it took her 15 years then she is not very good at judging people herself. If a shy guy doesn’t open up after a few dates then perhaps it is going to be a problem, but I think that you will find that most shy guys do open up and are mostly more caring than the macho type who think they are god’s gift to women. My wife totally agrees based on her experience with the men in her life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008): Let me save you years of wondering, guessing, worrying and trying to figure out a "strong silent type".....Run, don't walk as far as you can in the opposite direction. When I was your age, I fell hard for a guy who was very quiet. I thought he'd eventually come out of his shell. Newsflash, he didn't! 15 years later, I'm still doing all the talking, communicating, sharing and he is still in his shell never uttering more than 3 words in a day. It's the worst mistake I've ever made and because he's good to me, and we have a nice home, nice cars blah, blah, blah, I've stayed with him, though I am totally emotionall STARVED. If you are a social gal, stay away from introverted shells. You will never know what's going on in the relationship because they will never tell you and you will always wonder if they're mad, or sad, or worried, or happy because again, they will never tell you a thing! I wish someone would've slapped me up-side my head years ago so I could've met someone who's like me, a bit of a talker who enjoys having true intimacy with someone. I feel emotionall cold towards him now and want out! Trust me men who talk are so much better in relationships.
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A
female
reader, Livinglifedaybyday  +, writes (28 June 2008):
Haha this feels like im looking back into the past. My current boyfriend used to be extremely shy and I tried so hard to find out if he liked me. Umm well its hard to tell if a shy guy likes you besides the glances in your direction..a way to tell if they are looking directly at you is when u see them and it feels like your making eye contact, smile at him if he was looking at you he will either look down embarassed or smile back. I also know of a sneaky way to get his number if you don't wanna ask. "Misplace" your phone and pretend you can't find it. Ask him if he can call your phone so you can find it and give him the number. Then after u "find" your phone tell him hey save my number just in case. Then save his number. :). Then randomly one of these days send him a cute joke that looks like u sent it to everyone and conversation can keep flowing. Good luck! Its a foolproof plan...just make sure he has his phone.lol. Keep us filled in on this see if we can be of any other help.
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A
male
reader, Phsyciatrist-to-be +, writes (28 June 2008):
 Sounds like a "strong silen type." I'm a little bit like that. And I find it much easier to talk to friends and other people I know than people I have feelings for: I get afraid of saying the wrong thing and messing up with chances I might have. As for the "avoiding" thing, it's another common tactic. If it were me, I would be afraid of making myself look like a fool in front of the person I liked: perhaps he thinks you're out of his league and doesnt want to embarass either of you by asking you out. This "fear" can be suprisingly strong.
So if he is a quiet one, it could well be that he likes you.
If he won't make a move, perhaps you ought to. I understand you cant ask him outright, but maybe you should be a little more subtle. Maybe YOU should sit next to HIM? Dont, like, make a beeline for him every lesson: just try and make it as though there's nowhere else to sit. There's this thing to do with body language you should look out for: if you get close to him he could either flinch away, or not move. If he doesnt move, then he doesnt mind you being in his "personal space." I wont go any further into that: google it. It's quite interesting.
So, basically, what I suggest is that you make one move or other. Find an excuse to get HIS number, perhaps? It doesnt sound like much is going to happen if you wait for him all the time. Why dont you talk to one of his friends? Something like that.
If it's as similar to the situation I was in a year ago as I think it is, then he definately likes you.
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