A
female
 ,
*una~
writes:I’m going to sound very evil, but please read on and understand how I’m feeling. My bf of 2 years was divorced and has a 7 years old daughter. The daughter lives with the mom as my bf gets to see her every other weekend. Instead of spending the weekend at my bf’s, the little girl enjoys spending time with my bf’s parents. Because of this, I spend my weekends at my bf’s parents when the little girl is over. I’m being very understanding of the situation and give up all those weekends to the situation. My bf loves his daughter, but I wouldn’t say he is attached hip to hip all the time. She seems to be more attached to the grandparents than to my bf. I don’t have a problem with it right now. But I have to admit I like weekends spend alone with my bf. However, when my bf and I starts living together, I’m afraid things will be different. Will I be the new mom later? His girl is very sweet, but also very spoil too. She gets her way all the time because everyone feels sorry for her. She always get people to clean up her mess, gets a drink/snack, play with her, going to places with her. Maybe I’m very young and is not ready to be a parent, I just feel nervous if my bf wants the girls’ custody back. I overheard a conversation between his mom and him. They are hoping to do so a few years from now. Does that will make me responsible for feeding her, taking her to school, signing up for activities for her, everything else? I am a working woman and wants to career orientated for at least 5-10 years. I don’t know what to do now. I don’t want to speak to my bf about it, because I know it sounds so selfish of me. But I do have a life to live too.
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female
reader, gf123  +, writes (19 May 2007):
 First of all, his daughter is not your child and you will never be a parent in the true sense.
Talk to your boyfriend about how you feel, I think you may be surprised by his reaction. I very much doubt that he would expect you to take on the responsibilities you have mentioned as this would be asking far too much of you. What he probably will expect, is for you to support him in your capacity as his girlfriend. This is quite distinct from the role of a mother.
Furthermore, this situation is hypothetical. Custody battles are notoriously difficult and at 7, unless there are very extreme circumstances, I am doubtful that the authorities would interfere so much in this young girls life as to remove her from the custody of her mother.
Most importantly, tell your boyfriend how you feel, he is not a mind reader!
Best of luck
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