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Identity crisis!

Tagged as: Dating, Gay relationships, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 November 2012) 1 Answers - (Newest, 11 November 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Sex has been an issue for a while in my relationship. My partner of 11 years was very quiet yesterday so I asked what the matter was. She asked whether it is normal not to desire the other person all the time. She told me she dislikes my hair style and the 'rags' I wear and wants me to be feminine. I shop at All Saints, wear my make up and try to have a 'cool' 'edgy' look. I have never really been into dresses but I do wear them for events. I hate having my hair down to be honest, and I quite like my image. She on the other hand is often walking around in jeans, trainers and a hoody. Sometimes in tracky bottoms. I can't help but feel really annoyed because in my mind I make more of an effort most of the time. I know that there are things I can compromise on, but part of me just wants to let rip. Any advice?

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (11 November 2012):

AuntyEm agony aunt'She asked whether it is normal not to desire the other person all the time'

I think this statement from her is much more revealing than the image issues she is stating...sound like an excuse.

I'd ask her if she is still happy in the relationship, maybe it's more of a midlife crisis and she is weighing up her options.

Trivial stuff like what you wear is an easy fix...she's picking a string to unravel, at least it seems that way to me.

Maybe it's time for a relationship M.O.T and a back to basics approach to see if you can get to the bottom of things.

Good luck x

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