A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Just over a year ago, I wrote a question asking for help with an age gap relationship. Some of the people who offered their advice asked for an update, so here it is... We are still together- I'm almost 18, and he just turned 32. We've known eachother for 3 years now and took the relationship SLOWLY. We still don't have everything worked out (his parents don't approve), but my mom and our friends are supportive of the relationship and everything is going very well. I just have to let all of the people who called him a perv know that they were wrong. But their unsupportive words gave me the strength to fight for what was in my heart. My advise to others in my past situation is this: 1. Take it slowly - don't have sex right away, start out as friends, talk to friends or family before going through with this. Maturity and patience are absolute requirements.2. The older person must be ready and willing to take criticism. People will say things that may not be true, so fight through it; don't give up if you know they're wrong. I find that this relationship was harder on my boyfriend than it was on me. 3. Date some younger people first. My biggest regret is that having an older boyfriend while I was in high school prevented me from going to prom and other social events that I wish I could've experienced. If you can make it just as happily with a person your age, it will be easier and much less stressful.4. Check the laws! You certainly wouldn't want your loved one in jail because you're under the age of consent. Nor would you want to get your math teacher put in jail!Thank you to everyone who offered their support as I went through the difficult times with this relationship. Their encouragement gave me the strength keep going.
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male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (1 March 2007):
 Wow, I didn't realize I was wasting away and going to bed early - LOL. I sleep about 5 hours a night, by the way.
I'll say this, I married someone 17 years my junior, and divorced 5 years later. We have a beautiful son together, and we're still friends. I could have married someone my own age and still been divorced in 5 years. Who knows?Nobody ever said I was too old or she was too young. . . not to my face, anyway. There are no guarantees in life and love. As long as you're happy, that's ALL that matters. You're not hurting anybody and nobody knows your heart better than you. Forget the naysayers and live your life the way you want.
Best wishes!
A
female
reader, Debs85  +, writes (1 March 2007):
not all age gap relationships fail i am the product of a successful age gap relationship there was 16 years between my mum and dad and they received so much criticism my mums parents even called the police on my dad yet they stuck with it and had the most successful marriage that i know of. you seem very mature for your age and the way in which you have gone about the relationship (slowly) has proved to be successful. just remember to keep your friends aswell as sometimes when you get a bf people seem to lose their friends but they are also a very important aspect in your life it is great to be with a partner loads but it is also great to do things seperately with your friends.
i wiah you all the luck in the world xxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2007): hi
Yes at the begin it will feel Amazing and u will say hey he unerdstands and is so much more moture then mose guys coz u dont want little hearth breakers to come in ure life i Tottaly agree sweetie common what u gonna do if ure husband is 40 and ure in ure 20's there will be a stage he dont wanna go out and wants to be in bed early u on the other side wants to have fun. party,go out late evenings go with ure friends out He even might say no ure not going out we are gonna call the night early are u prepared to sacrifice ure whole teenage life!?
Remember he perhaps doesnt always wanna take things slower in life or u. Yes indeed follow ure heart. But think off all the facts perhaps u feel u c something in him others dont
ill say take a breake b4 making ure choise
Spend some time with ure friends
i personaly will say Go for ure Own age and have fun!
A person only lives one time and one time only unfortuanitly u cant turn time back!
Remember Life is short Enjoy it
Hope to hear from ya soon. xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2007): i think its a mistake, sorry but he will age, you will not be happy when hes 50 and ur 30, ull be in ur prime and he'll be waisting away, and i dont even want to bring up that he will lose his sex drive when you are at your peak. you defenatel should be with someone closer to ur age, at 18 u dont know what u want. i didnt and i know that now.
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