A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, this is a toughie for me but cannot work this one out. Met a girl over the phone at work, really hit it off, flirted via e-mail but ove the months could not even get her number although the flirting continued both ways i pursued and would not let up. She had a steady bfriend and didnt want to complicate things. I got her number carried on as a friend and we got on even better. Then met up and there was something there but neither of us knew what. Suddenly we were sleeping together and it was mind blowing for both of us but she became guilt ridden treating started treating me badly never knew when she was available backing out of meets, going distant. Then id pull it back as friends and it would be euphoric for both of us and it then ends up with us meeting and wed end up in bed. She has not ditched her fella to be with me but reckons if she did i wouldent be interested but have told her i wouldent have pursued her if i really didnt want her. I am unpredicatble and a little wild, compulsive. She is slower and not open with her feelings as much as me. I didnt want to disrupt her life but life aint that simple. Ive now gone from her really wanting to see me three days ago but she couldent cos her boyfriend turned up to turning up at hers as a surprize and being given cold shoulder and told she doesnt want to be with anyone and needs space!!! I know she wants me though!!! Think its a test to see if ill abandon her and if i am good long term. Prob is its breaking me apart and she doesnt know what shes dooing. All I know is she loves her fella but is not still in love with him and he knows all her fam and friends and she feels like they will be let down and im the exciting one she is attracted to the forbidden fruit. Should i give up let her come to me. Left it as me saying we will be friends for the moment until her circs change but im not going to abandon her. Help as it is making us both ill/moody/unpredictable. Should i hold in? How do i make her mine if i can? Still be friends?
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at work, flirt, has a boyfriend, needs space, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (23 July 2007):
 You're unpredictable, wild, compulsive and...you forgot a couple...selfish and disgraceful...................... "I didn't want to disrupt her life but life ain't that simple."...Yes it is when you have integrity. At this point you're only concerned for yourself. Nobody else would really be concerned either. You have no place in this mess. You've created a place and it's at the expense of other people. That is shameful.
Leave people alone who are in relationships. That solve everything.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): Not much you can do. It's her decision now. I wouldn't force her because the same could happen in your relationship later on with another guy. If she wants to be with you and you've made it clear you like her then she will make the decision. If not, then you move on.
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