A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I would like your opinion on where you feel a couple is no longer a couple, and does it make a difference if there is no religion involved?I am 56 and living with my husband but have slept seperately for 6 months. The only reason we cannot start a divorce is because we have not been able to sell our house and I cannot afford to move out otherwise. The relationship has not come to a temporary difficult patch as I have been unhappy for all our married life and only stayed because of children who have now grown up. I have met a man who age 60 and is divorcing but the process is not complete. I am not having an affair as there is no relationship, we merely have known each other for about 2 years and get on really well at the office. At our age it seems daft to miss a chance of happiness when so many people our age are having trouble meeting new partners. Unfortunately this has come a bit early and was not sought after. My marriage was done for legal reasons and the cerimony made no reference to God. What do you think?
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male
reader, Gryphon +, writes (2 May 2006):
 This is just my personal opinion, but if a marriage isn't sanctioned by the Church for religious significance then there really is no 'marriage' - it's more of a political union. But semantics aren't everything and frankly I think that you must do what your heart is telling you to do. I don't know if you are implying that you want to start an 'affair' or not, but my only words of advice are: 1) Consider your family and how they will take it. 2) Consider any legal ramifications it may have (because if your husband can zing you for infidelity you may not get anything out of a divorce, but I also don't know what the laws are where you come from so this may not apply). & 3) Don't do something just because you want to - do it because the very fiber of your being is telling you to move that direction. Under your circumstances I would say that if you desperately want to, and your family won't raise Hell over it (including your children), and your husband can't use it against you then you have nothing to lose. Your vows have no universal bind, and unless you are deeply religious you have nobody to please in this other than yourself.
I'm sorry this tended to ramble a bit. I wish you the best in your decision because most importantly - this is YOUR decision as you will be the one that has to live with any consequences regardless of mine or anybody else’s opinions.
Best wishes and good luck...
~Jake~
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