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I would give up the guy I'm seeing for my ex... but what does he want?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 December 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 23 December 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hey guys i need some advice... ive been with my current partner for the last 7 months and he is amazing... hes so kind, lovely, caring everything i always thought i wanted in a man, but i realise that there is something as to nice... however after having it, i dont think i want it and am beginning to appreciate my ex much more....

I split up with my ex of 5 years around a year ago however i still want to be with him... ok he wasn't as nice as this one but i still love him like crazy... we have been talking for a while and ive have literally laid my cards on the table for him... i told him im not a child and i am not interested in playing games and that im still in love with him and want to be with him... now he says he misses me and cares about and still fancies the pants of me... we have been out a few times and i made sure nothing happened coz i dont just want to be a booty call.. however the last time we met up we kissed and re-kindled in a way that was perfect...

however when i bring up getting back together he says he needs time to "discover himself" and dont want to miss opportunities whilst still in his youth!!! what the hell does that mean... is he interested? does he want anything with me, and if he doesnt why is he giving me mixed signals by kissing me and arranging dates? does he feel he is going to get something physically from me (despite me telling him i will not be sleeping with him)... im sooooo confused please can someone help me understand and shed some light on what he wants from me....

i would give up the guy im seeing for him... ps my ex knows im seeing someone else??? please anyone

View related questions: booty call, kissing, my ex, split up

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2011):

Don't give up a lovely boyfriend for someone who sounds as if he knows you still love him and yet says he needs time space etc. If he loved you the way you love him - you would be together regardless. It is plain that this is one sided - yes he fancies you and likes you but beyond that it very much looks as if he is prepared to use you. For now stay with your boyfriend and don't see the ex. It will only confuse you more.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2011):

No he's not interested in you, he is interested in getting sex from you. Even though you say you won't sleep with him, he still believes that he has a chance as your kissing while you still have a boyfriend, so your cheating on your current boyfriend already! If you would give up your current boyfriend for him, do your current boyfriend a favor and stop stringing him along, let him find someone who is really going to love him and be faithful to him. What motivation would your ex have to take you back, if you can cheat with him on your current boyfriend, he probably thinks that you could easily cheat on him with someone else too. I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but I am being honest. Your ex wants to use you, and your using your current guy because you don't have the guts to end it unless you have someone else lined up ready to take his place. How would you feel if someone was treating you like that? Good Luck

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A female reader, imiss United States +, writes (23 December 2011):

Your ex wants to have his cake and eat it to. Things go easily between you two because of your history, so he "arranges dates" -- yes, because he hopes to get into your pants. When we're right in the middle of a situation, we tend to misinterpret things and perceive them the way we hope they're meant, but please, take it from an outsider: there is no "mixed signal" when he says he doesn't want to "miss opportunities."

He is not interested in a relationship, and by continuing to see him, you threaten the wonderful relationship that you DO have with your current boyfriend -- you remember him, don't you? The poor boyfriend who's completely unaware that you've been smooching with your ex and are ready to dump him at the drop of a dime if your ex comes back. Wise up soon and appreciate the "kind, lovely, caring" man you've got or you'll find yourself with two exes.

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