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I will be 21 soon and I know that I will want to go out and meet new people, but part of me just won't and can't let go of him.

Tagged as: Faded love, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 April 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 19 April 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Well after reading all of these situations, I can say I feel a lot better. Heres the WHOLE STORY! Almost two years ago had broken up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years and about a month later I met this guy. Right after I met him we became unseperatable. I had two weeks until I was to move 2.5 hours away for school. During those two weeks we hung out everyday. After I left I would come home every weekend to see him or he would come down by me. There wasn't one weekend we could go without seeing eachother. When I was away he would never forget to call me before he went to bed and we would talk for atleast an hour every night on the phone.

I was like head over heels for this guy. I've dated a lot of people and never felt this before. After we dated for about 3 months I made the mistake of driving up to my ex boyfriends cabin 1.5 hours away at 11pm with a friend without telling my boyfriend. While dating my ex boyfriend I helped restore his cabin and it was finally done so I drove up there to see it. I stayed at the cabin until 12am, so like an hour and than drove home. I did nothing with my ex but talk.

The next day when my boyfriend came over, I didnt know how to tell him. Eventually I did and he was devestated. After that things got worse between and my boyfriend. We still were crazy for eachother, but it was different. We both really like to go out and drink on the weekends, when I mean drink, I mean drink A LOT. About two months after I went to my ex's cabin my friend told me that my boyfriend had cheated on me with one of my friends. We were both at a party when I had found out.

I confronted him and he denied it. He kept denying it and denying it saying he didnt remember. The night that he did cheat on me he was drunker than drunk because I was there. I made him call my friend and see what happened.

She said all they did was make out, but still making out is cheating. I was so angry I just did not know what to do. I didnt know if I wanted to be with him. When I finally gave him a chance to talk he cried to me for a long time. I'm not a very strong person so I gave in and took him back. I didn't give him his trust back though.

Over the course of the last year since that issued occured I've heard other things and our relationship just turned to crap. He turned 21 and wanted to go out to the bars all the time with friends. I am a year younger than him so I could never go out. We still would hang out sun-thurs and than when fridays came he would bail on me.

As to why I dealt with this I don't know. When hes sober hes the nicest guy and we have so much fun together. A little over two months ago from now I was informed that he had slept at a motel with some girl I know from high school after being at a bar. When I found that out, I was more depressed than I'd ever been in my life. We than stopped talking to eachother.

It was about a month where we didnt talk for like almost a month nor did we see eachother. One night he called me and came over and we talked and caught up on things. Since than we've been hanging out seldom and talking on the phone here and there. I try to keep my distance but its so hard. He recently did something stupid and got in trouble with the law because of drinking.

He had to spend almost two days in jail and was stuck in a room with only a bed. After he had gotten out of jail he told me he realized he messed up and that he needs to change his lifestyle. He now has to change, but also wants to change. He told me that all he thought about in jail was me. I don't know if I even believe any words that come out of his mouth. He said that he wants to be with me, but I don't know if I want to ever be with him.

I'm still like head over heels for him and I don't know why after all the bad things hes done to me. I think that now that he can't drink things could be a lot better between us, but I don't know If I want to try again. I've gone through hell and back this past year.

I will be 21 soon and I know that I will want to go out and meet new people, but part of me just won't and can't let go of him. What should I do?

View related questions: cheated on me, depressed, drunk, in jail, my ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hey, thanks a lot! I really appriciate it!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2008):

It sounds like he doesn't know how to drink responsibly. Tell him that if you are going to be together, than he can't party so much. Don't let yourself be played.

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