A
female
age
36-40,
*eddy1972
writes:10 years ago I worked as an escort. I met my boyfriend 4 years ago and, as soon as the relationship started to get serious, I told him of my past. I wanted to be honest from the outset, and give him an opportunity to walk away.He stayed with me and said that he loved me. However, throughout the relationship he has had brought my past up many time, been agressive and abusive over it. Each time, I ended our relationship, although it broke my heart to do so because I love him, and each time he wanted me back and promised not to bring it up again, but he does. I am at my wits end with it all. Aside from anything else, it was/is a part of my life that I would like to move on from but I feel like I have a constant reminder. I do love him but I am seriously considering ending it as I don't see a way forward for either of us. Any advice would be appreciated.kind regardsT
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female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (11 April 2009):
 If i could give you some thoughts to your problem my hubby used prostitutes the escorts here are a bit pricey so he went to saunas, private flats, when we were in Relate trying to recover from his sex addiction the counsellor asked him if he had any regulars and he says no she says many men do and confide in these girls to which he replied i used them for sex and that was it i would never have anything else to do with them except use them for my pleasure! i nearly fell off the chair at his remarks, but on questioning him afterwards he did say most of the guys who went to these places all spoke about how great some of them where to have sex with but they would never in a million years have anything else to do with them i think one of the comments used where "I mean there not the sort of girls you want for a wife"
Unfortunately your boyfriend may have had the same mentality and that is unfortunate for you, none of us know why you did what you did we are not here to judge but i think most guys have this image of women who sell their bodies as something for them to use and not have any attachment and your boyfriend will have thought how many men have you had?
All you can do is ask him to try and forget this as hard as it is for him we all deserve a second chance in life and none of us are in your shoes we dont know what made you turn to this for money and we are not here to question your reasons but convincing him is going to be hard i feel if you can't see him changing his attitude then you may need to consider what is it your getting from this now i wish you well.
Gina
A
female
reader, teddy1972 +, writes (10 April 2009):
teddy1972 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to all of you for taking the time to answer my post.
take care
T
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A
male
reader, Yos  + ♥, writes (10 April 2009):
 I agree with Eddie: it's going to be difficult for most guys to deal with something like that. Men are territorial, it's in our nature, and this cuts right into that.
I have two suggestions.
1. Go to a relationship councillor / therapist together. These kind of issues are very hard to be objective about because of the difficult emotions involved: with a 3rd party professional you have a much better chance of having good communication and figuring out active steps. I'd recommend a male therapist, simply because your boyfriend is going to need some empathy.
2. Watch the movie 'Sexy Beast' together. It will likely trigger some issues, but the overall message is very positive towards your situation (there is a situation in the movie not unlike yours)
Good luck
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A
male
reader, eddie  + ♥, writes (10 April 2009):
 You may have a difficult time finding a guy who has no issues with that. Most guys probably will, at least the average guy probably will. If this bothers him now I'm guessing it will always lurk in the back of his mind. You can't change what you did and that is the bottom line. I thin it will take a special free spirit kind of guy to be able to put this issue to rest. Maybe that is the type you'll meet. Or perhaps you'll meet a guy who has some type of issue he'd like to forget about, give and take on both ends....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): I don't know what you're talking about when you say escourt, honestly. But i can tell you that if the relationship has gotten abusive on several occasions, you reeealy don't need to be with this guy. That could only get worse with time, as he'll get more and more used to being able to treat you that way, and as he figures now, he can probably just end up getting you back. And let me tell you this too.. I was with a guy for three years and he had some things in his past that i was hoping i could get over, but i couldn't. Every day it tore at me more and more and i wanted to be with him but i just couldn't move on and get over everything he'd done. So I ended he relationship. Resentment like that causes years of bickering for no apparent reason, and short tempers. There is a certain lack of respect that comes with territory like that, and once a person loses respect.. all hell breaks lose. 2 weeks after i broke up with him, i accidently found my soul mate and got married. He's amazing and tolerates me.
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A
female
reader, XxDefineMexX  +, writes (10 April 2009):
 Sit down and have a serious talk about it. You have to be firm and tell him that that part of your life is over and you can't go back and change the past so he's going to have to deal with it.I know i've had a few sexual regrets and my boyfriend brought them up constantly also. I told him he needs to stop and thankfully he did.Just be absolutly serious with him and explain to him how you honestly feel. Hurt? Angry? Upset? Let him know. Most men hate it when their girls feel upset or angry with themselves.Hope I helped=]
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