A
female
age
36-40,
*arkfairy_06
writes:I'm 22, and I finally have a boyfriend, and just lost my first kiss about a year ago. I have always said I'd wait till marriage before sex, but I keep getting tempted.I moved in with him because I had no where else to go. Which is really not helping. We try to hangout in public as much as possible; but usually when we are able to hang out with each other nothing is really open.My question is how can I keep from giving in to temptation. ie: have sex before marriage. When the only things that are open late at night are bars, geroge webs, and a 24hr. pickn' save.
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (29 April 2010):
 I'm in agreement with good ol' Oscar Wilde about being able "to resist everything except temptation". But, if you really want to resist temptation, the simple piece of advice is:
RESIST TEMPTATION. Make it clear to yourself that you don't want to do this for the time being, and presto!
Moving out would help.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2010): The best thing you can do is get your BF on board with you. You need to treat this like something that you need his help to stay committed to, like a strict diet or exercise plan or something.
When a person says, "Okay, I need your help, no more ice cream for 3 months" then we understand this is what they really want. The person might give in when they are confronted with ice cream right in front of them at a party, but we understand that their sudden decision to start eating ice cream does NOT represent a change in their bigger thinking. It's just a moment of weakess and they would prefer we help them NOT eat the ice cream despite what they think at the time it is in front of them.
Your decision not to have extra-marital sex is what you REALLY want. Your BF needs to understand that you might change your mind in the heat of the moment but this does not represent your feelings, it's just a moment of weakness. He should be helping you uphold your decision not to have sex.
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A
female
reader, el Lori +, writes (29 April 2010):
 Living together makes it very difficult to resist the urge to. You need to have this talk with your boyfriend about you wanting to wait but what are you mean by waiting until marriage for sex? Do you mean not having any sex that involves penitration? If you are not including oral sex then do oral sex or mutal masturbation which is watching each other masturbate, hand jobs is other way. Good luck and Best wishes! Remember use a condom if you both decide to not wait.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (29 April 2010):
 I generally applaud the idea of waiting until marriage. I think it's a useful message to send to teens in particular. As people get to their mid 20s, however, I wonder if the value of the concept doesn't wear a bit thin?
The idea of waiting made perfect sense in a society where people got married in their teens. The courtship phase then was a few months. Today people can date for literally years before they choose to tie the knot. At 22, I wonder if it's healthier to just get on with it, one way or the other.
If you're living together, and if you're really 22, I think you're really just tempting fate. And adding unnecessary tension. For most of us, living with someone and not having sex goes with being old and having been married for a long time. Not for two young people in love.
Just my two cents.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (29 April 2010):
 I really admire you for this aim and value and I can totally understand how hard it's becoming for you. Does your BF know you want to wait until marriage? What does he think? If you are both committed to this then you both need to take reponsibility for calming down and stopping before it goes too far. Are you open to heavy petting? Blowjobs and oral sex may help.
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