A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy a couple years ago through a mutual friend. We get along great, and whenever we are around each other there is good chemistry between us. I've been in love with this guy for quite some time now. How could I go about finding out if this guy is into me without telling him I'm into him? I want to test the waters a bit and see if there are any mutual feelings at all before I decide whether or not to tell him how I feel without the fear of losing our friendship. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks so much for the responses everyone! It's given me a lot to think about :)
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (15 July 2008):
 In cases like this, someone has to be the one who risks rejection. It stinks, it's unfair, there should be some magical way of know if he likes you back. But there isn't.
So you say you two have some chemistry? Try a bit of flirting with him, just some mild stuff, like touching his hand or his knee if you're sitting side by side. Mirror his body posture. Look at his mouth for a little while, then gaze into his eyes when you're talking to him. Gaze, not look, there's a little difference there.
To peel him away from the crowd, as Eyes so wisely suggests, tell him you need his opinion on something. You'll have to come up with what that something is. Men tend to like to fix things, so that's a good way to get him involved in a conversation. They're practical beings, usually. Maybe your car has a little problem? You could drag him outside to look at whatever it is that's wrong with it. Then you can flirt some more, only you're alone with him. Is he really good at something, a sport, perhaps? You could ask him to explain it to you.
Look, I've been married for nearly 14 years. I had to ask him out for our first date. I knew that he had feelings for me, but he was also concerned with what might happen to our friendship if things didn't work out. Thank heavens he said yes, because I would have been crushed and embarassed too. But I could tell there was chemistry between us. If you think there is chemistry between the two of you, then there probably is, so relax a little and let yourself take that risk. I really don't think that you'll lose a friendship over some mild flirting....
Let us know how it goes, I love happy endings. :)
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (15 July 2008):
 Do you guys go out together alone? You know on dates? If there's always a crowd around you need to find a way to be alone with him. If he jumps at the chance I think that would be a huge indicator.
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (15 July 2008):
 You could start flirting with him more than you usually do. Use your feminine charms!
You could also try to spend more time with him. Get him to know you more and you know him more. When you think he's comfortable with you, ask him subtle questions like "what do you expect in a girl?" or if he believes in true love. Also, if you're somewhat bold, ask him what he tinks of you. If you aren't able to do this, ask one of your friends to ask him that without sounding too suspicious.
Also try to see changes of his behavior between you and the rest of his friends. Try to see if he treats you differently than them (in a positive way) and if he does things with you that he hasn't told anyone. This is usually a sign that he likes you.
Good luck with this!
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