A
female
age
51-59,
*johnson4
writes:I have been in a relationship for 10 yrs with this guy. We have been living together for 7 of those 10 yrs. We bought a house together 4 yrs ago. Somehow when the 10th yr came, I became dissatisfied with this relationship. I have been unhappy for a while but this year I have been really unhappy. I miss my life when we were just dating. My life seemed more fun. I traveled a lot, I was making more money. When we moved together it seemed like everything start going downhill. I was laid off after we moved together and I haven't found a job paying what I use to make. I have gained more weight, my credit is horrible. He seemed to be doing great. He finished his master program. He says he doesn't see anything wrong with the relationship. I want to leave but I invested too much in this house. I don't know what to do. Please help. (My sister offered me to move with her to get my finances and life back in order but my name is on the deed of the house and if we have to sell, I want my portion of the proceeds.
View related questions:
money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, answerfromtheheart +, writes (1 September 2010):
 Unfortunately without credit and without money it will be hard for you to keep your house. Does he have any suggestions of what would be fair?
A
female
reader, jjohnson4 +, writes (1 September 2010):
jjohnson4 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBoth responses were very thoughtful. To answer the 1 comment, maybe I am unhappy with myself. I know at this time, I not in love with this man like I was years ago, but I don't want to give up my house. Maybe I am just materialistic. I just feel my life would better without him in it.
...............................
A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (28 August 2010):
 Are you sure you don' have too much invested in this relationship and you are letting the economy ruin your otherwise stable relationship? Are you sure your unhappiness has more to do with him than with you?
I am just saying, things are tough and when you don't have a job and your credit is going south, it's pretty hard to take because it does change your life. It seems kind of like throwing the baby out with the bathwater to dump your guy over these hard times....couples can come together and help each other through these times and come out even stronger on the other side.
But who am I too convince you to stay? I'm not you and I'm not him and you are the best judge of what the problems are, but the major one that jumps out to me is lack of commitment. And that is what true love is about, and it seems he is already commited to you and has told you so, so where are you contributing to the solutions to this problem?
...............................
A
female
reader, answerfromtheheart +, writes (28 August 2010):
I don't know where in the US you live, but I think now is not the best time to sell the house if you guys want to make some profit from your investment.
If your sister offered you to move in with her, it's a great thing. It's great that your name is on the deed, so legally you are protected to get your portion.
Why not talk to your boyfriend and tell him that you want to get out of the relationship, that he deserves to be with someone who is happy to be with him, and see what he wants to do about the house?
If he has good credit, you can always do an appraisal on the house to see what it is worth right now, get a larger loan and buy out your portion. That way the house will be totally his in the end (he does need a place to live), you'll go live with your sister (and a nice chunk of cash) and be able to get your life back in order.
...............................
|
