A
female
age
51-59,
*ellardoor
writes:Please help me. I've been in a relationship for almost 3 years with my bf, I am 35. Things are not going good. 2 years ago we were so happy to find out we were having a baby (no kids previously or since), but things went very wrong and we lost it at 16 weeks. I was very ill after as what had occured was very rare and I had to have alot of treatment to make me better again. Now I have been given the all clear and can finally get on with my life again but I feel I don't fancy my bf anymore and he annoys me alot with the things he does. He tends to be quite selfish and thinks of himself alot and treats me more like his mum. To cut a long story short, I have met someone else who has stolen my heart. Nothing has happened yet and we both have talked and very much like each other. We share alot of the same dreams and want to spend time with each other. I'm stuck as I live with my bf and the other guy lives over 100miles away but we talk everyday / night online.I do care for my bf very much, but we just dont seem to have alot in common anymore. I dont know what to do. I feel my life in this relationship with my bf is ended but i don't want to hurt him, and i certainly don't want to cheat on him but he shows me no affection, we've not had sex for near 2 years :S and tbh i don't think i could anymore with him as i don't see him that way. Please advice me Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2008): lifes too short! Trust your heart leave your bf for the new man if that feels right. The sooner you work out exactly what you want and take the plunge the sooner your crisis will be over.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2008): gosh 2 years with no sex. Gal u got to go out and hav some fun with ure online guy. I think u and ure husby are just afraid to tel each other that its not working. U might not be cheating but i'm sure he is. Talk to him, ask him to be honest if he stil loves you. I f he says yes. Tell him he got a funy way off showing it and tel him u think we both need a break and ure moving out to ure friend , sister or mom and if he says ok thats prove s me right. He was just afraid to tel u. Leave and be with mr internet
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (7 October 2008):
 To be honest, when i wanted to split from my husband when i was only 20, i was dreading it. It even crossed my mind i wouldn't get out alive believe it or not! but it was fine, and nowhere near as bad as i imagined. We didn't have contact for years after though. But are mates now, we divorced 16 yrs ago, he moved on and had a daughter and was with someone 12 years! We hooked up for a drink just over a year ago, and are best buddies now.
Kids dad was the one i was talking about before and with him i was worried he would be devastated, and im not saying he wasn't, but he is fine now 7 yrs on, and is settled with a girlfriend for the last 4 years happy as larry!
Good luck.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, Cellardoor +, writes (7 October 2008):
Cellardoor is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for your kind words :) guess its time to bite the bullet and hope he dosn't blow up and get all stroppy as he sometimes does.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (7 October 2008):
Its horrible having to end a relationship, no one likes doing it, and thats why a lot of people cheat in the end.
Its good that you dont want to do that. But if you dont love him anymore, you just literally have to do the deed!
Ive been in your position, and it took me months to get the courage, but its kinder to do it sooner than later.
Its highly likely he isn't feeling brilliant about the relationship anyway, especially if you're not sleeping together anymore.
He will be fine, and before you know it, you will both of moved on and be with people you love and who love you. And be glad you sorted it out.Good luck.
C xxxx
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (7 October 2008):
There is no way you can get out of this without someone getting hurt. But that is no reason not to leave.
Have a look for places you can live alone or with housemates on the internet. You'll see it's quite easy to be single and survive.
Then you just have to sit your boyfriend down and tell him it's not working any more.
As for your new guy, wait till you have split up and moved out and then you can get together with him and see what happens.
Good Luck!! xx
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