A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I'm ready to leave. There is no spiritual connection anymore. We hold hands and sleep next to each other and it just feels so empty. I've put up w. this for almost 2 years, we married but I want out. I get turned off at the thought of connecting with him because I have so much resentment for having to wait so long for it, getting it for a week, then it back to the same shit.Just one BIG problem...I can't afford to live and raise my ten yr old on my own. I don't even have a car anymore. I had to give up so much. He drives me to and from work, etc. He stays w. her afterschool now that he isn't working. I have nowhere to go and no way to get there. I just don't know how to even approach this. Our lease is up in April and he wants to move to PA again which is fine, if I wanted to be with him romantically. My child's father is still in the picture but my husband is always picking up his slack.(because he is too selfish, immature, cheap to do right by his own kid) I need him in alot of ways but I also need to find love again, cause, this ain't it! Not the kind I want anyway.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIts not about that either. It's actually the other way around. I am very giving emotionally and financially. I give all that I have! I've just had this issue w. him from the start. He just doesn't express himself physically like I'm used to and I'm having a hard time without it because that is one of my main ways of expression. He used to be very verbal but now I don't get much of that either anymore and I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit here and give and give, and have to pay most of the bills too. I mean he does love me but its not the way I want to be loved and that is all. But it's hard to leave when I don't know what I would do without him! If I could be independant I would do it in a heartbeat. If I'm gonna feel lonely sitting right next to someone, I may as well be alone. He doesn't mean it to be mean or purposely withhold, that is just how he is.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThose issues you mentioned I don't feel are relevant to why I want to leave. I don't think he's a failure, we don't purposely hurt each other...It's hard to explain yet its as simple as that I want more then he is willing or able to give. He does't provide the things I am used to like being showered w. affection. Also, we make about the same amount of money. It's not that I am financially dependant on him, it's just that I can't do this alone...and in Central NJ, who can!?After posting this I let him know how extreme I was feeling about leaving (again). He will appease me for a night or two then go back to the lazy, pre-occupied, overly self-contained self. We sit on the couch together for hours holding hands or whatever, but it is never enough because it's like there is dead air between us...is the best way I can put it. Nothing happening there. His touch feels so forced and lack luster. A lot of times it seems he is just going through the motions.
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