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I want to keep my friends but don't agree with their lifestyle

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Question - (19 September 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 19 September 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My friends- girls and guys- love to party but I think it can really waste time because I have goals and I want to make sure I am spending my time on those, doing my homework, exercising, eating right, and sleeping.

What do I do? I want to keep my friends?

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A female reader, cc3351702 Ireland +, writes (19 September 2010):

Hey der, its looks like dat you don't have much in common, I think you should move on & make friends dat have d same interests as you.. Cuz eventually your gonna feel left out, an possibly alone, or feel the need to party with them, but don't unless YOU want to..

Hope dis helps x

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A female reader, FluffyPie United States +, writes (19 September 2010):

FluffyPie agony auntIf their habits don't interfere in your daily life, it's Ok to stick to them. People are different, so it's not a rule to be like them. If you don't like their lifestyle, you're not forced to hang out with them.

If they party and have fun without exagerrating, (i.e. making orgies, getting drunk until they drop, doing drugs, forcing other people to do that), it's absolutely great to have them around. When they party, perhaps they do it in the evenings or going to club at night. You could join them, because you don't just study at night.

Goals have nothing to do with a "chillout time" with friends. Everyone needs to have fun and needs friends, no matter how important their goals are.

If you think of yourself as an easily influenced person, maybe you should set some limits between you and the others, for your own sake.

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A male reader, elvira505 United Arab Emirates +, writes (19 September 2010):

We all know that God the Most High has brought us to life for a relatively short period of time so we need to use our present life for what is best for us in the future and most importantly the hereafter. Once we know our purpose and our goal in life, we should seek ways to achieve them so as to benefit our own selves. and a person is influenced by those that he/she associate with and that's an undeniable fact , and i can see the urge in you and the willing in you that you want to focus on life and your friends arnt helping you'' or lets say the people you hang with because true friends care about ones future and those who don't most likely don't have a future them selves so why you want to stay with such people , i am not saying quit but schedule your self and don't let no one schedule you thats how it should be if you are concerned about your goals in life ..don't let them waste you

take care & good fate

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010):

Hi there!

Id be glad to help you out on this! During your young years, its important to establish yourself and in doing that balance is good. I never really partied a lot so I stayed away from people who did, just because it wasnt who I was and I had to keep my own best interest in mind as I cared about my future.

Perhaps find other ways to bond with these people. You said you like exercising, so invite one for a run or a physical activity. And, eating right...any healthy meals you can cook up that your friends may like? Invite them over just for dinner.

On the other side, if these friends do not respect that you have your goals and see you as perhaps selfish, they are sorely mistaken and you deserve better homies. Good luck.

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