A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have some rather irrational feelings with regard to losing my virginity which I'm hoping someone can help me understand. When I stop and think that other people are having sex (for this purpose I'm referring to penis in vagina intercourse... sorry to be graphic!), I feel so bitterly envious - even though I have a boyfriend who I know wouldn't turn me down if only I said the word. We're an LDR, although we've had various opportunities to get intimate. And yet, thinking that there are women in the world who are even older than me (I'm 19) and still virgins makes me feel reluctant to go through with it after all.I don't feel under any pressure from my boyfriend; he swears he'll wait until I'm ready and I know he's the one I want the first time to be with. But why am I so torn? I really want to do this so what's holding me back? Thank you so much for any advice given x
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male
reader, Daniel the love doctor  +, writes (20 September 2011):
 I agree with what many of my fellow commentors are saying. I would also advise you to check out this article also. It may be very beneficial for you to read: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ladies-what-you-should-know-before-you-have.htmlWishing you the best!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2011): there is no reason why you can't wait for a few more years if you want to, you must be feeling a little uncertain deep down inside otherwise you wouldn't be holding back, are you sure about the relationship? are you concerned about his fidelity, or things like pregnacy or stds, or any other worries like that? is it because it is a LDR? make sure you've thought about all the different outcomes and your relationship to see if you can identify what it is that is bothering you. Maybe you just want to wait a little bit longer,there is nothing wrong with that.try not to let yourself feel pressured in anyway, and don't set yourself a time limit or restrictions anything like that. keep an open mind about it, and you'll probably find yourself in the right place at the right time eventually. hope this helps, good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2011): you shouldnl't feel torn. Your age shouldn't make your decsin for you. I let it make mine, all my friendd slept with their boyfriend and used to bully me I was still a virgin, so I lost it. I regret it to this day. It sounds like your boyfriend is lovely saying he wait till your ready, so don't rush it wait till you know you want to, and it will be perfect.
hpoe it works out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2011): Bringing intimacy into a relationship is a big step. It changes things in the relationship and can never be taken back. Plus in a LDR it is even harder. The boy I lost my virginity to then went to the army basic training only a few weeks later. I didn't see him again for four months. It was very difficult, and when he came home he didn't want to spend time with me but did want to have sex... then he broke up with me and broke my heart. I loved him so I felt I was ready, and I don't regret it because I loved him. But, the aftermath of it was terrible and I did a lot of stupid things for a long time until I realized it was because I was tryin to heal my hurt from him leaving me like that.So, I say wait until your relatonship is not long distance if you can. It is okay to wait! There is nothing wrong with waiting!
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